:: The Center of Happiness ::

Welcome to this week’s DRIVE YOURSELF HAPPY Road Ramblings.

If you find value in these gentle reminders and rules for the road, please invite your friends to sign up for my free newsletter by visiting www.driveyourselfhappy.com. Also visit my blogsite, www.centerofhappiness.com. I would love your support in expanding those joining is on the road to happiness.

I’d like to welcome all of our new subscribers to the DRIVE YOURSELF HAPPY Road Ramblings newsletter and acknowledge you for taking the first step toward living a better life.

Today’s rambling from the road will include:

* Between Pleasure and Meaning by Rhonda Hull, Ph.D.
* Bliss and the Brain A Society for Neuroscience Briefing
* Drive-By Quotes To Carry With You on the Journey

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Six Strategies for Happiness
Step #2
Happiness Lies at the Intersection Between Pleasure and Meaning

Hello Friends and Traveling Companions,

I have just returned from a pleasure-full and meaningful adventure visiting my grandsons, making new professional connections, and culminating with another inspiring time with my grand-nephew, Connor, as he and his family face the challenges of healing his leukemia. Each heart-felt component to my trip offered me great joy and expanded the meaning essential to my life.

We live in such a pleasure oriented society that is live by the demands of others and where we expect immediate gratification. It is understandable how life can feel so hallow. Though there are over 6 billion of us walking the earth, we seem to feel unconnected, isolated, unhappy, and alone. Each morning, burdened by the pressures of life we greet the morning saying, “Good God, morning,” rather than “Good morning, God! Our enthusiasm for life has become weary.

I am certain that happiness lies at the intersection of pleasure and meaning. All of the amenities of life can be wonderful to have, but without meaning, the joy brought by material, monetary and superficial gain is short lived and hallow.

May of you are already aware that over that past several weeks I have been touched by the journey of my grand-nephew, Connor, as he faces the challenges of healing from leukemia, and blessed to be a part of his healing journey. Amidst the heartaches of facing cancer, Connor and his family choose to find the meaning and discover the diamonds honed by this overwhelming experience. They find pleasure in simple moments and deep meaning through being surrounded by love as they walk this relentless path.

What would life be worth without being meaningful? Connor’s situation is not unlike the circumstances faced by Victor Frankl. Frankl, author of the landmark `Man’s Search for Meaning’ and one of the last great psychotherapists of this century survived the Holocaust, even though he was in four Nazi death camps including Auschwitz from 1942-45. His parents and other members of his family did not survive. During — and partly because of — his suffering in concentration camps and the incredible losses he experienced, Frankl developed a revolutionary approach to psychotherapy and invited us all to assume our responsibility for our own happiness.

“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.”
— Victor Frankl Man’s Search for Meaning, p.172

Although for most of us our daily living is not as bleak as what Frankl experienced in Nazi, Germany, there still is a haze of despair and depression over all of us because of economic pressures, social threats, and the heartache of war that touches all of us. It has become so easy to go numb and get caught up in running through life without a clear idea of what brings us joy and feeling like life has been drained of its meaning. From this place of emptiness we fail to even notice the magic in the simple and sweet moments. True happiness need not be expensive. It need not be planned. It need not have frills, bells, buzzers and whistles. Regardless of our circumstances, remembering how to notice meaning even amidst inclement circumstances brings the meaning that makes joy durable.

At the core of Frankl’s theory is the belief that humanity’s primary motivational force is the search for meaning. Life does not have sustainable pleasure without meaning. Deep joy will remain illusive if we continue to believe life owes us something. It is not life’s responsibility to provide us with joy and meaning, but ours to create and embrace joy and meaning by being fully who we are authentically.

Whether at home or professionally, the intention is to engage in activities that hold both personal significance and that are enjoyable in a heart felt way. Show up fully in life and engage rather than waiting for life and meaning to find you. Dare to open your heart and feel the spectrum of emotion hidden there. Laugh often, forgive quickly, celebrate even small victories, trust more, and hold on to life with a looser grip and fewer expectations. Give generously without the expectation of receiving in return. Hug often. Greet the morning willing for it to be wonderful rather than expecting another day of drudgery.

Feeling all the ’shoulds’ nipping at my toes, I am savoring the last few days of a visit with my grandbabies with no regrets, for the joy they bring me and the guidance and love I bring them are what make my life full of meaning. Watch children. They have not forgotten the how to find joy in a soft breeze, a warm day, feeling sprinklers on their feet, or delighting in a butterfly flying by.

In Joy,
Rhonda
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Bliss and the Brain
A Society for Neuroscience Briefing

While many researchers have tracked the molecular mechanisms of depression, fear and anger, they mostly ignored happiness. In recent years, however, a cadre of scientists has turned their focus to this positive emotion. Studies indicate that pleasant feelings are associated with certain brain responses that appear to vary in intensity between individuals. The research may lead to new ways to pump up happiness in unhappy humans.

A warm breeze enters the window. A jogger trots by with his black lab. Purple and yellow crocuses bloom below.

You are happy.

Scientists are just now finding out how the brain enters into this idyllic picture. One line of research indicates that certain activity in the front part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, is essential for joy. And perennial optimists appear to have pumped up activity in this brain area. The new research is leading to:

A better understanding of how the brain contributes to overall emotion.

Insights into why some people are happier than others.

New methods to boost pleasant feelings in human beings.
Brain-damaged patients provided some of the first clues on how the brain handles positive emotion. For example, researchers found that patients who were prone to pathological laughing or bursts of euphoria tend to have damage on the right side of the brain.

In contrast, patients who were prone to pathological crying or depression tend to have damage on the left side of the brain. The studies suggest that normally the left side plays a role in happy feelings, while the right side aids negative feelings.

Research in healthy individuals backs this theory and provides evidence that the prefrontal cortex is key (see illustration below). For example, measures of brain activity indicate that pleasant film clips, pleasant tastes and cash incentives increase left-side brain activity near the forehead. Unpleasant film clips, unpleasant tastes and a threat of cash loss raise right-side brain activity near the forehead.

Furthermore, studies suggest that certain people’s ability to see life through rose-colored glasses links to a heightened left-sided brain function. A scrutiny of brain activity indicates that individuals with natural positive dispositions have trumped up activity in the left prefrontal cortex compared with their more negative counterparts.

Infants even show this difference. For example, babies who tend to cry when separated from their mothers also tend to have lower left and higher right-sided prefrontal activity compared with non-wailers.

Evidence suggests that the left-siders may better handle stressful events on a biological level. For example, studies show that they have a higher function of cells that help defend the body, known as natural killer cells, compared with individuals who have greater right side activity. Left-sided students who face a stressful exam have a smaller drop in their killer cells than right-siders. Other research indicates that generally left-siders may have lower levels of the stress hormone, cortisol.

Scientists currently are investigating how genes may account for the different variables. Some studies that examined general well-being already indicate that genes possibly explain about 40 to 50 percent of people’s differing happiness levels.

A recent evaluation of the happiness levels of over 100 chimps as well as their family history determined that genes play a large role in the emotion. Human twins who share the same genetic makeup are more similar in how happy they are compared with twins who do not share the same genetic makeup, according to another report.

Could this research suggest that you’ll have to settle for a life of mild satisfaction? Do the signs of summer make you happy, but not as happy as that person with different genes and more left-sided brain activation? Will life’s stressors affect you more than left-siders?

Cheer up.

Researchers suspect that you have some control. For one, certain techniques may be able to alter your brain circuitry. An ongoing study is testing whether a life of meditation among Buddhist monks affects their prefrontal brain activation. Other research is examining the brain and health effects of an eight-week meditation program on biotechnology employees. Read more about Meditation!

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Drive-By Quotes To Carry
With You on the Journey

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often we look so long at the closed door
that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

– Helen Keller

“I don’t think God cares where we were graduated
or what we did for a living.
God wants to know who we are.
Discovering this is the work of the soul - it is our true life’s work.”

– Bernie Siegel

“The problem with the rat race is that even if you win,
you’re still a rat.”

–Lily Tomlin

“But what is happiness
except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads. ”

– Albert Camus

“You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it,
know more about other people than you know about yourself.”

– Beryl Markham

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If you’re serious about learning some new rules for the road of life that will guide you in creating resilient happiness today instead of years down a very bumpy road, you may want to learn more about my book, Drive Yourself Happy: A Motor-vational Maintenance Manual for Maneuvering Through Life. In it I turn everyday road signs into signs of happiness guideposts that remind you of your wisdom literally at every turn. My book will offer you practical and powerful guidance for having joyful balance in your life regardless of your circumstances.

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If you feel this newsletter would make the road of life a bit easier for another, please pass along. Invite all your family and friends to sign up for my newsletter by visiting www. driveyourselfhappy.com.

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The Center of Happiness
P.O. Box 1667
Port Townsend, WA 98368
360.385.5850
www.driveyourselfhappy.com
www.detourfromstress.com
www.centerofhappiness.com
www.circleconnections.com (enjoy the early bird special for the Magnificence of Circle Expo in September!)
www.offeringsmagazine.com
www.connordunham.com (follow his progress and invite a your friends to become a part of his healing process!)

New peacemakers have emerged in the 21st century. They’re not political leaders. They’re not savvy diplomats. They are not only famous rock stars and billionaires. They’re women and men like you and me.

Together, holding hands and sensing the truth beyond circumstances, seeing beyond our limiting beliefs, we dare to remember our magnificence. Women reclaim our voices, and we invite the men in our lives to reconnect with their hearts. It is only together that we can manifest the balance and compassion needed and called for by love.

Together, in this circle of connection, we intend that there be peace… we choose to see it amidst hard times, we celebrate it with each smile, we call for it through our tears, we taste it, walk for it, teach about it, sing it, write about it, paint it, trust it, design our work around it, pray for it, stretch for it, encourage with it, bless the ill with it, smother our grandchildren in it, heal with it, meditate on it, surrender to it, nurture ourselves with it, wish on a star for it, have our words and actions match it, dream about it, are an activist for it, gather in it’s name, share it with every embrace or gentle thought for another, embody it by remembering who we really are. And, we forgive the rest, letting it go to be transformed back into what it has always really been… peace.

The massive outbreak is here, and we are it. We are the ordinary extraordinary ones daring to BE peace, holding its vision in every breath.

It is a common complaint. Women often do not feel like they are enough. The world of personal growth tends to reinforce this false belief that life is a problem to be solved rather than a journey to be traveled. With the abundance of coaches and consultants, personal trainers, and advisors many women become dependant on seeking “help” to solve a “problem” when all the answers reside inside of us. Often the greatest problem is coming to the realization that we too easily fall into that trap of seeing life as the problem, rather than our own disconnect from who we authentically are..

Life is not the problem! Life is an event to be experienced, a journey to be traveled, and an adventure to be experienced in every fiber of our being. If we need help, it is to resolve the problem of seeing life as a problem! We need to be invited to meet our true self. Mentors and therapists should be only a means to free us to experience life fully, and in so doing allow life to inspire us to be fully who we are.

Don’t hold yourself back any longer by your limiting beliefs. Reclaim you boldness, grit and power. This is what makes you beautiful. Break the chains and dare to take on the responsibility and delight of your own joy. Open your heart to life and experience it with all its hills and valleys, for they are our greatest teachers. They are inevitable and offer new vistas and viewpoints. They hone us into diamonds.

Do something you’ve always dreamed of, even if you might fail. Do something you’ve never thought of, especially if you feel fear. Give generously, and replenish yourself fully. Tolerate the fear and do it anyway.

It’s time to get out of your known way. Stretch. Jump. Laugh. Smile. Live. Love. Learn, and dare to leave your own unique and powerful legacy.

Copyright 2006, all rights reserved
Reprint permission is granted if contact information is included in publication.

Rhonda Hull, Ph.D.
Professional Speaker, Mentor, and Author
of Drive Yourself Happy: A Motor-vational
Maintenance Manual for Maneuvering
Through Life

As a professional speaker, happiness mentor, and author of “Drive Yourself Happy”, let Dr. Rhonda Hull act as you ‘life driving instructor’ assisting you as you maneuver the road to personal balance, professional success, and authentic happiness. Rhonda has what it takes to guide you on your journey, making even the potholes along the way a valuable part of the adventure.

Visit: www.detourfromstress.com
Comments welcome at info@driveyourselfhappy.com

The Center of Happiness
P. O. Box 1667
Port Townsend, WA 98368
360.385.5850

Women see the big picture. It is our nature. Although when necessary we have adapted to linear thinking, we are designed to be multi-taskers, visionaries, and aware of a larger perspective for the greater good. Part of our journey is to build a new bridge between ‘Mars’ and ‘Venus’ by coloring outside the lines, stretching the rules. Women are called somehow to poke around until the new steps reveal a way for men and women to blend our experience, embrace and honor our differences, and unite our gifts in a mutually beneficial way. Without this leap of faith, peace will never happen.

I had to laugh when I heard the observation made by Barbara DeAngeles, a relationship expert, that women and men think and process life like their genitals. She stated, “Women talk in circles and men talk in a straight line!” The truth of this statement stopped me in my tracks.

Sadly, many women have lost a certain sense of knowing who they are as a result of living and working in a man’s world. We have allowed that ‘straight line’ way of being to silence our creativity and hide our compassionate gifts. But, the good news is that many women are now at an edgy place of unrest that is nudging them back into seeing the benefits of their circular way of being in the world.

For centuries, women’s big picture way of being has been discouraged, devalued and suppressed, but women no longer seem comfortable with or capable of remaining silent. Something now is bubbling up and we are actively reclaiming our voices, not in the abrasive feminist style of the 60’s, but with a new emerging face of the feminine that calls for a redefinition of our power, a feisty implementation of our energy, the shining of our grace and a non-violent way of connecting. We need to move forward with clear intention and without interruption, accepting that life is messy, no longer waiting for permission.

While some women are just peeking their heads out from under the covers, others are surging forward with the energy of a beach ball that can no longer be held under water. Some are more aware than others of the legacy of the ancestors that preceded them. There have always been bold women but now they are connecting to share the journey. In big and small ways we are percolating, lunging, inching, and being drawn forward more connected than ever before.

This new face of the feminine calls for leaving our petty differences behind and focusing on what meaningfully matters for the greatest good of all. We must unite inspired by our common ground, rather than allow our differences to contaminated our freedom. Each of us in our own way are choosing to hold again the out-stretched hand of our intuition, and from this place of trusting our self and others, we are sometimes guessing right and sometimes guessing wrong when best to be subtle and when to be bold.

This is just a part of the evolutionary dance of woman. By applying our experience, valuing our wisdom, giving from our hearts, learning how to receive, exposing our strengths, and daring to be prosperous with a feminine touch, we are shedding our scarcity beliefs and sharing our talents with a renewed certainty that we hold a secret to a more peaceful and respectful way of life on our planet.

Now is an exciting time. Women are feeling the pressures for change, and are asking, “What if I really am magnificent? And what if all women lived life as if we believed it until we fully remember our truth?

Regardless of the path we choose, women are daring to step back into their innate essence through their insights, dreams, and actions. Without their visionary thinking, our world will be lacking in innovation and fresh approaches necessary to lead us back to peace.

“But, I’m just little old me?” you might say. “What do I have to contribute?” “I’m not an activist.” “I’m too old.” “I’m too young.” “I don’t have enough time.” “I don’t have enough energy.” “Joey has soccer practice.” “I need to focus on making money.”

Here’s the deal. It’s not necessarily about ‘doing’. It’s about ‘being’ fully who you are in whatever you do! It’s about daring to clarify what you want, and embrace the magnificence of who you are, free of fear.

Here are a few ideas for unleashing your creativity and embracing your role as an evolutionary woman, even if in small ways…

1. Give yourself time If you don’t, no one else will
You are responsible for your own happiness, and believe me, everyone else will be happier when you are happier. Set the priority in place and declare your space, then honor it. Build the rest of your life around it. We teach people how to honor us by how we honor our self. If you don’t honor yourself, no one else will.

2. Dare to vision, dream, create, and harness your ideas
Turn off your self-critical voice and just allow your creative thoughts to bubble up. It’s fun. No matter how outrageous or silly, far-out or impossible they may seem, catch your ideas, jot them down, tell a trusted friend, ponder over a cup of tea, journal, give them a life, play them out in your imagination, and revisit them from time to time. Like a garden, some will grow and some will not. But don’t discard your creativity before your give it a chance to take root.

3. Acknowledge your strengths
Women have been so good at meeting the expectations of others that we have lost touch with what we really want. What is calling you? If we don’t answer this question it becomes easy to blame others for not having what we want. It is so easily get trapped doing what we ’think’ we ‘should’ rather than listening for what pulls at our heart strings. Women ‘allow’ rather than ‘force’ by nature. It’s time to identify what be want, and to fully honoring our own talents and strengths if we are to breathe new life into our magnificence.

As women, we have come to see and accept life being a struggle, and often feel we are swimming upstream weighted down by our fears. An important step for creative women and entrepreneurs is to flush out limited thinking and refocus on all that is working around us. As we shift our beliefs and adjust our perspective life can flow naturally, come more easily, and unfold effortlessly. Celebrate even small steps forward, and know that a bigger picture of forward motion may require a few steps backward. The circumstances don’t matter. It’s the grace with which we manage them makes a difference.

4. Reframe “overwhelm”
Challenges need not be an enemy, but can easily be that if perceived as such. Overwhelm is sometimes caused by having too much on our plate. Acknowledgement is often the ‘reward’ from outer sources when we are appearing to be too busy. Overwhelm can become an unconscious way we get attention. Odd as it seems, we manufacture our busy-ness so we can be admired for our overwhelm management skills, rather than choosing a more peaceful way of managing life.

Important steps for calming our busy-ness and overwhelm is to set clear boundaries and to manage our self-care. Dare to say ‘No’ and say ‘Yes’ only when you truly mean it. Respond rather than react. Breathe. Find an appropriate outlet for your frustration and anger. Taking on too many responsibilities will burn you out, blur your focus, and zap your creative abilities. The greatest gift you can give another is to take full accountability and responsibility for your own happiness.

Then, get real with time management. If you are fooling yourself about how you use your time and don’t set clear intentions and priorities to guide your evolution you will feel overwhelmed. You will be zapped of your energy, your focus, as well as the authentic connection to your self and the ones you love.

Overall, live life with clear intentions, clear about what you want, but with a looser grip. Let life lead.

5. Listen beyond words and beyond your own filters
Women observe by nature. We drink in the big picture and see the subtle details. We read people’s energy and have those funny inner feelings that forewarn us of conflict ahead. We also have a huge capacity to be loving and compassionate, often at our own expense. When you truly nurture yourself you can authentically serve another.

Notice what is being said beyond the words being used. What do you hear people truly asking for? What are they NOT saying? What are they complaining about? Remove your own biases and filters as you listen. Listen for what they need rather than react to what they feel. Stand in the shoes of another. Ask open-ended questions, look for themes, and expect miracles.

Women are evolving. We are not called to figure out the answer, but rather to allow the answer to come to us. After all, life is a journey, not a destination. Ask yourself often, would you rather be right or happy?

6. Embrace and nurture your intuition
Women have hunches, nudges, and knowings. We push them away or kill them with logic. Take time with yourself. Listen for your own voice. Learn to trust and welcome that whispering voice of guidance that stirs within you. Lean into it and follow your hunches and intuitions. Only then will you rediscover they are instrumental in you fully discovering who you are. You are afraid that the one you will find will be horrific and less than wonderful. This is the lie that hold’s women back. The truth is that we are magnificent beyond our belief and can no longer afford to play small.

7. Talk about your ideas
Create a circle of trusted friends, a supportive group of women who are willing to lovingly hold you to your highest and best. Weed out those who undermine your success. Don’t surround yourself with those who will allow you to remain a victim of life or who embellish your fears. Place less energy in forcing dysfunctional relationships to work, and instead put your time and energy into cultivating relationships that have a foundation of unconditional love. Life is too short wasting time on a ‘pity party’. Connection is built into a woman’s DNA, so create a mutually safe place with other like-minded women to commit to your evolving personal growth and consciousness. Ask for honest feedback, create and play with them, or call on them when you need help.

Women are so much better at giving than receiving, but you cannot give from an empty cup without eventually feeling resentment. Learn to receive support, and only give from a replenished heart.

8. Play, meander, wander, rest, be still, or go on an adventure
If you feel stuck, even when surrounded by a huge pile of ‘shoulds’, change your location, have a good laugh or a good cry. Take a walk. Get out and play. Go do something (anything!) other than what you ‘think’ you ‘should’ be doing. Change your surroundings, your focus, and change your mood. Reconnect with your heart, your body, and your true essence. Make room for your creativity and your perspective to return to you.

Evolutionary women have the innate ability to see the extraordinary in the ordinary. We see the potential and possibilities in just about anything and delight in simple pleasures. When you open your heart to your visionary skills, you will see you are not alone. There is a huge sisterhood of women who see the big picture, are ready to sing, and who with you tenderly hold peace in the palm of their hand.

Copyright 2006, all rights reserved
Reprint permission is granted if contact information is included in publication.

Rhonda Hull, Ph.D.
Professional Speaker, Mentor, and Author
of Drive Yourself Happy: A Motor-vational
Maintenance Manual for Maneuvering
Through Life

As a professional speaker, happiness mentor, and author of “Drive Yourself Happy”, let Dr. Rhonda Hull act as you ‘life driving instructor’ assisting you as you maneuver the road to personal balance, professional success, and authentic happiness. Rhonda has what it takes to guide you on your journey, making even the potholes along the way a valuable part of the adventure.

Visit: www.detourfromstress.com
Comments welcome at info@driveyourselfhappy.com

The Center of Happiness
P. O. Box 1667
Port Townsend, WA 98368
360.385.5850

It is a common complaint. Women often do not feel like they are enough. The world of personal growth tends to reinforce this false belief that life is a problem to be solved rather than a journey to be traveled. With the abundance of coaches and consultants, personal trainers, and advisors many women become dependant on seeking “help” to solve a “problem” when all the answers reside inside of us. Often the greatest problem is coming to the realization that we too easily fall into that trap of seeing life as the problem, rather than our own disconnect from who we authentically are..

Life is not the problem! Life is an event to be experienced, a journey to be traveled, and an adventure to be experienced in every fiber of our being. If we need help, it is to resolve the problem of seeing life as a problem! We need to be invited to meet our true self. Mentors and therapists should be only a means to free us to experience life fully, and in so doing allow life to inspire us to be fully who we are.

Don’t hold yourself back any longer by your limiting beliefs. Reclaim you boldness, grit and power. This is what makes you beautiful. Break the chains and dare to take on the responsibility and delight of your own joy. Open your heart to life and experience it with all its hills and valleys, for they are our greatest teachers. They are inevitable and offer new vistas and viewpoints. They hone us into diamonds.

Do something you’ve always dreamed of, even if you might fail. Do something you’ve never thought of, especially if you feel fear. Give generously, and replenish yourself fully. Tolerate the fear and do it anyway.

It’s time to get out of your known way. Stretch. Jump. Laugh. Smile. Live. Love. Learn, and dare to leave your own unique and powerful legacy.

It was another amazing week. Did you know that life isn’t fair? It often isn’t easy. It comes with challenges, pain, and setbacks. I have been reminded of this over and over again through the heartache faced by my niece and her family as they maneuver the unimaginable weight created by their 2 year-old son’s leukemia, and one of my dearest friends was held up at gunpoint, left alive but feeling her freedom and peace of mind were taken away along with her purse. The purse can be replaced. Fear is harder to extract. Can there really be happiness here? I still believe it’s possible.

We keep trying to run away from tension and pain in our lives. We crave our comfort zone, and it is wonderful when we get to enjoy a smooth patch of life now and then. However, by its nature the human experience brings with it much we do not understand and it contains its fair share of inevitable twists and turns.

Life is far better when we discover how to surrender to it… all of it… even the hard parts, and to conserve our energy rather than resist. Durable happiness is ours when we discover that we can experience it despite the hurdles and potholes. The simple miracles of life actually taste even sweeter because we value the blessings by having known their opposites or by having weathered our way through hard decisions.

To love and to evolve, these are what we are called to do here on this journey from our head to our heart.

Lovevolvelovevolve.

Although we are spiritual beings, we are living a human experience that is sometimes beyond our comprehension. Because we are human, our progress is not always in forward steps. But through tension and simple joys, forward and backward steps, we can find our way to seeing that love is present and possible at the high points as well as amidst tension.

Though life sometimes calls for three steps forward followed by two back, leaning in a forward direction in spite of the circumstances brought to us by life is what allows us to experience deeper meaning, fuels our consciousness, and stretches our evolution. It’s what provides meaning and possibility to what we cannot fully make sense of. Personal growth seems to require tension in our lives. Happiness requires courage.

Tension, suffering, and pain are initiated when we feel our expectations are not met or the unexpected catches us off guard. Our greatest suffering is not the result of our circumstances as much as we want to place blame there. It comes from feeling alone. We isolate ourselves by holding on too tight to our own human vision of what life ‘should’ be. Happiness pleads with us to loosen our grip, and yet we move through life as if we have our foot on the accelerator with our parking brake on. The conflict of what is and what we want it to be fight each other. We exhaust and waste our energy as we struggle to regain a sense of control, attempting to force life to fit into our stubborn mold. What would happen if we merely let life lead?

It is a hard learned lesson for many of us that control is only an illusion, and that life is more joyful once we surrender to it, even when immersed in the most overwhelming circumstances. Tension is transformed, peace found, happiness experienced, and miracles realized when conflicting dimensions of reality are brought together in creative sense of balance and in wholeness through our ability to choose love as the guiding force regardless of the circumstances.

Disappointments, sadness, and irritations for now seem to remain an integral part of our human experience even when we don’t fully understand why. However, they prove to offer opportunities to grow if we embrace rather than resist them. The more we resist, the more they persist. We cannot prevent them, but we can expand our ability to handle them with grace. This path to happiness and peace of mind has little to do with the circumstances. It is inner, not outer.

Allowing space for what we cannot understand, forgiving ourselves for our anger, and encouraging our emotions to pass through acknowledged without attaching to them remaining long term residents makes way for noticing simple miracles even in the darkest times. Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” we come to ask “What can I learn?” or “What gift is hiding here?”

It seems to be that being uncomfortable is what motivates us to interact with life. It confirms that we are alive. It is our discomfort that triggers new insights. When we stretch beyond our comfort zone our heart is more likely to open allowing us to lean willingly forward into life. A vulnerable heart is what hones us and acts as the catalyst for our personal evolution — it provides the opportunity for us, regardless of the circumstances, to discern the lesson, see the light, feel the love, experience the gift, and to reach for the highest ground with expanded awareness.

So, today I raise my glass to my fellow travelers who continue to see joy and manifest courage amidst crisis. I am inspired by and grateful to walk with those who are determined to take one more step forward after two discouraging steps back. Evolving may take greater focus and attention than remaining numb and angry, however, through believing that the light always dissolves and transforms the darkness, the gift we receive is happiness and love from the insight-out.

We lovevolvelovevolve. Together. Connected.

Welcome to this week’s DRIVE YOURSELF HAPPY Road Ramblings.

If you find value in these gentle reminders and rules for the road, please invite your friends to sign up for my free newsletter by visiting www.driveyourselfhappy.com. Also visit my blogsite, www.centerofhappiness.com.

I’d like to welcome all of our new subscribers to the DRIVE YOURSELF HAPPY Road Ramblings newsletter and acknowledge you for taking the first step toward living a better life.

Today’s rambling from the road will include:

* An Unexpected Moment by Rhonda Hull, Ph.D.
* Appreciate Your Freedom by Alicia Dunham
* Freedom FYI
* Drive-By Quotes To Carry With You on the Journey

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An Unexpected Moment

Hello Friends and Traveling Companions,

What’s the big deal about meaningful moments? Everything. Meaningful moments can come at any time and be missed if you aren’t paying attention. They are those special times when we look at the ordinary and see the extraordinary. In these moments the kaleidoscope of our authentic self comes into focus. It is often the simple moments that capture us doing ordinary things and they magically turn into huge and lasting insights. They open our heart. They are what make life worth living.

Sometimes they happen unexpectedly, without any forethought, planning, or effort. Other times we nudge life to make them happen, or consciously create and celebrate them. When they call us to pause, we are pulled by and surrender to the possibility and set the conditions for love, acceptance and compassion to appear. All in an unexpected instant.

This morning I entered the elevator at the Ronald McDonald House, where I have been staying with my niece to assist in caring for her son, Connor, while healing from leukemia, and Carson, his baby brother. I was on my way to do a load of laundry, of which this situation provides an endless supply.

After a brief wait the doors of the elevator opened. Already in the elevator was a young man who was accompanied by two older people. All of them stood in silence. I was ready with a smile, but at first everyone kept his or her eyes down to avoid eye contact. I honored this and awaited the movement of the elevator. Then, with a deep sign, the young man next to me engaged me in conversation.

“I get to go home today,” he said, as if announcing his prison term was over. The long stays, many procedures, relentless change of plans, suspension of the life you knew, and the regular visits by the unknown can tangle these families in feelings of confinement, saddens, and restriction.

“Good for you.” I responded, assuming the treatment associated with cancer was over for his baby girl. An extended pause was then followed by an unexpected response. “Yes,” he said, “but the news is not good. My daughter died last night.”

It just happened instinctively. That moment appeared, my arms opened and we hugged. I felt his heavy heart through the bundle of clothes between us, and for a moment he melted into my embrace. Being strangers meant nothing for in that moment we became Universal family. Tears rolled down his cheeks as the doors of the elevator opened again and he and his parents exited the elevator and took their next steps on their path of grief and consciousness.

The doors shut. I stood in the elevator alone again, as my tears pre-washed the laundry in my arms. Such a brief connection, but an important connection just the same, and one I feel was valuable for both of us. I’ll never forget that moment that came and went so fast, and so unplanned, yet so intentional.

Happiness fits here somehow. It includes even moments like this that keep us open to all of life’s occasions and surprises. To muster the willingness to feel the depths of pain offers you the opportunity to experience the diamonds of joy honed by tears.

Life goes on, and the most challenging journey we ever face is only 18 inches. It is the one from our heads to our hearts.

In Joy,
Rhonda
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Appreciate Your Freedom-
An Update on Connor
by Alicia Dunham

Hello to all,

Often when I tell people how close in age Connor and Carson are they make a comment about how crazy I must be to have two so close together. Trust me that there have been many times in the last 6 months that I have thought I was crazy to. It was not until recently that I realized why God gave me my two boys only 19 months apart, he knew Connor was going to get sick and if I didn’t already have Carson I wouldn’t have had another baby. The hurt I feel is indescribable. The only way I can keep going is to know that the boys depend on me, and it won’t change anything to be upset or angry. I try to stay focused on the end goal and vision Connor as a survivor.

I know the power of prayer is strong but even though we have all been praying for less than 1% on Connor’s bone marrow test it is not what God has in the plan for us. The doctors called me yesterday to let me know that Connor’s MRD test still showed 3% leukemia. The doctors don’t really know what this means and are trying to decide on what the next step should be. At this point we have a meeting with Connor’s team of doctors Monday afternoon and he is going to be put on a different study program with high risk cancer patients and his course of treatment will be much more intense.

A few weeks ago a wonderful woman whom I never had met before e-mailed me and asked if she could run a couple of races in Connor’s honor. Her name is Gretchen Clark-Ross and she is running several marathons this summer to raise money for leukemia research I encourage everyone to check out her web-site at www.active.com/donate/tntwaak/tntwaakGCLARK- and see another angel in action.

I have so many questions, things to be thankful for, and hopes for the future. The last couple of weeks many people have said that I am handling this with such grace, I don’t think I am doing anything than any other mother who loves their child with every ounce of there soul wouldn’t do. Connor sets the example of how to get through this, the rest of us are just along for the ride.

Steve’s next visit was going to be the middle of July but after finding out the news yesterday he will be here today to help me and to take this next step as a family that will make it through this together. I will let you all know more as soon as we find out. Your love and support mean the world to me and please know that you are all AMAZING!

All our love,
Alicia and The Dunham’s

To follow Connor’s healing journey and to offer to support to the family, visit: http://www/thestatus.com. Click on ‘Visit a Patient’. Username: dunham. Password: unique-book.

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Freedom FYI

Alabama 1901, Preamble. We the people of the State of Alabama, invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish the following Constitution.

Alaska 1956, Preamble. We, the people of Alaska, grateful to God and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land…

Arizona 1911, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Arizona, grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution…

Arkansas 1874, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Arkansas, grateful to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of government…

California 1879, Preamble. We, the People of the State of California, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom…

Colorado 1876, Preamble. We, the people of Colorado, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe…

Connecticut 1818, Preamble. The People of Connecticut, acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy….

Delaware 1897, Preamble. Through Divine Goodness all men have, by nature, the rights of worshipping and serving their Creator according to the dictates of their consciences…

Florida 1885, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Florida, grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty, establish this Constitution…

Georgia 1777, Preamble. We, the people of Georgia, relying upon protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this Constitution…

Hawaii 1959, Preamble. We, the people of Hawaii, Grateful for Divine Guidance. establish this Constitution…

Idaho 1889, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Idaho, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings…

Illinois 1870, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Illinois, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors…

Indiana 1851, Preamble. We, the People of the State of Indiana, grateful to Almighty God for the free exercise of the right to chose our form of government…

Iowa 1857, Preamble. We, the People of the State of Iowa, grateful to the Supreme Being for the blessings hitherto enjoyed, and feeling our dependence on Him for a continuation of these blessings establish this Constitution…

Kansas 1859, Preamble. We, the people o f Kansas, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious privileges establish this Constitution…

Kentucky 1891, Preamble. We, the people of the Commonwealth are grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties…

Louisiana 1921, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Louisiana, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties we enjoy…

Maine 1820, Preamble. We the People of Maine acknowledging with grateful hearts the goodness of the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe in affording us an opportunity … and imploring His aid and direction…

Maryland 1776, Preamble. We, the people of the state of Maryland, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberty…

Massachusetts 1780, Preamble. We…the people of Massachusetts, acknowledging with grateful hearts, the goodness of the Great Legislator of the Universe … in the course of His Providence, an opportunity and devoutly imploring His direction.

Michigan 1908, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Michigan, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of freedom establish this Constitution.

Minnesota, 1857, Preamble . We, the people of the State of Minnesota, grateful to God for our civil and religious liberty, and desiring to perpetuate its blessings…

Mississippi 1890, Preamble. We, the people of Mississippi in convention assembled, grateful to Almighty God, and invoking His blessing on our work…

Missouri 1845, Preamble. We, the people of Missouri, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, and grateful for His goodness … establish this Constitution…

Montana 1889, Preamble. We, the people of Montana, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty establish this Constitution…

Nebraska 1875, Preamble. We, the people, grateful to Almighty God for our Freedom. establish this Constitution…

Nevada 1864, Preamble. We the people of the State of Nevada, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom establish this Constitution…

New Hampshire 1792, Part I. Art. I. Sec. V. Every individual has a natural and unalienable right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience…

New Jersey 1844, Preamble. We, the people of the State of New Jersey, grateful to Almighty God for civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors…

New Mexico 1911, Preamble. We, the People of New Mexico, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty…

New York 1846, Preamble. We, the people of the State of New York, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, in order to secure its blessings…

North Carolina 1868, Preamble. We the people of the State of North Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for our civil, political, and religious liberties, and acknowledging our dependence upon Him for the continuance of those…

North Dakota 1889, Preamble. We, the people of North Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, do ordain…

Ohio 1852, Preamble. We the people of the state of Ohio, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings and to promote our common…

Oklahoma 1907, Preamble. Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessings of liberty… establish this…

Oregon 1857, Bill of Rights, Article I. Section 2 All men shall be secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their consciences…

Pennsylvania 1776, Preamble. We, the people of Pennsylvania, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, and humbly invoking His guidance

Rhode Island 1842, Preamble. We the People of the State of Rhode Island grateful to Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing…

South Carolina, 1778, Preamble. We, the people of he State of South Carolina grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution…

South Dakota 1889, Preamble. We, the people of South Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberties…

Tennessee 1796, Art. XI.III. That all men have a natural and indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their conscience…

Texas 1845, Preamble. We the People of the Republic of Texas,
acknowledging, with gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God…

Utah 1896, Preamble. Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty, we establish this Constitution…

Vermont 1777, Preamble. Whereas all government ought to … enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man…

Virginia 1776, Bill of Rights, XVI …. Religion, or the Duty which we owe our Creator… can be directed only by Reason… and that it is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each other…

Washington 1889, Preamble. We the People of the State of Washington, grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution…

West Virginia 1872, Preamble. Since through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the people of West Virginia reaffirms our faith in and constant reliance upon God…

Wisconsin 1848, Preamble. We, the people of Wisconsin, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, domestic tranquility…

Wyoming 1890, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Wyoming, grateful to God for our civil, political, and religious liberties … establish this Constitution…

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Drive-By Quotes To Carry
With You on the Journey

“When I grip the wheel too tight, I find I lose control.”

– Steve Rapson

“The only real security in life lies in relishing life’s insecurity.”

– M. Scott Peck

“Do not abandon trust when your ego thinks
things should be different than they are.”

– Wayne Dyer

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If you’re serious about learning some new rules for the road of life that will guide you in creating resilient happiness today instead of years down a very bumpy road, you may want to learn more about my book, Drive Yourself Happy: A Motor-vational Maintenance Manual for Maneuvering Through Life. In it I turn everyday road signs into signs of happiness guideposts that remind you of your wisdom literally at every turn. My book will offer you practical and powerful guidance for having joyful balance in your life regardless of your circumstances.

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If you feel this newsletter would make the road of life a bit easier for another, please pass along. Invite all your family and friends to sign up for my newsletter by visiting www. driveyourselfhappy.com.

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If you wish to unsubscribe for any reason, please scroll to the bottom of the message to find the off-ramp. Either way, I wish you happy traveling.

The Center of Happiness
P.O. Box 1667
Port Townsend, WA 98368
360.385.5850
www.driveyourselfhappy.com
www.detourfromstress.com
www.centerofhappiness.com

Move Your Feet

Hello Friends and Traveling Companions,

Last night I carved out time to see An Inconvenient Truth, a documentary featuring Al Gore created to raise our awareness about Global Warming. It did for me in a powerful and practical way, and left me with hope rather than despair. I felt it was well done for many reasons, and I encourage you to see it, but lengthy discussion of that I will leave for another time.

What has stayed with me the most today was a short quote included in the credits that caught my attention:

When You Pray,
Move Your Feet.

– African Proverb.

Some of us remain paralyzed by inactivity and trapped by depression. Others move our feet to break free of the trap, but feel like we are running in place or are making good time but don’t know where we’re headed. We are overwhelmed by what is on our plate and we attempt to get it all done at the expense of family, friends and our own health. Or, we misuse our time looking busy and focus on everything but that which makes us truly happy.

I myself am an evolving woman with a renaissance soul. I love to learn, explore, stretch and serve, and one of my greatest challenges is to focus. There is no doubt that there is value in having diverse interests and being able to multi-task. But, there is equal value in taking it one thing at a time offering total attention. Discernment, our ability to listen within to our true calling and choose wisely, is what is essential to know if we are on or off course.

A few weeks ago I saw a rare interview with Oprah Winfrey in which she was asked how often she prays. Once a day? Twice a day? Oprah looked almost amazed by the question. She responded by sharing that prayer is her way of being. She never stops. Everything she does and every decision she makes is made from a lifestyle shaped by prayer. I have to say I, too, more times than not have realized the benefits of praying on your feet, being prayer in constant motion. It means to stay conscious, appreciate the present moment, and apply what you can in a loving way with the intentions of making a meaningful difference.

One of my most valuable teachers lately is my niece, Alicia. She is most definitely an example of prayer in motion. She did not choose the circumstances of her life right now, does not have the luxury of sitting for very long, is constantly exhausted, and could easily see herself as a victim. Despite the challenges that come one after another, she makes the time to maintain a web of connection with and appreciation for loved ones as she supports her 2 year-old-son, Connor and traverses with him at least a year-long journey of healing his leukemia. Although it is hard for her to acknowledge her own grace, I marvel at how she manages the curves as they come, balancing not only Connor’s needs, but also those of baby Carson who is 5 1/2 months old and dad who is working back in Alaska. What could tear others apart, she has opened herself to letting it make her stronger.

Very few of us are immune from the unexpected rough spots that appear along the way. Hopefully yours will not ever be as huge as hers. Hard times seem to come at inconvenient moments, and often times reveal inconvenient truths that call for our attention. All are opportunities to grow and deepen. This is a challenging lesson to grasp, that it is not the size or texture of the circumstances that really matter. What matters most is the grace with which we face them. Herein lies our freedom. Herein lies our happiness.

I offer another excerpt from Alicia’s journaling as an update of Connor’s progress as well as a template for handling un-imaginable things with grace. Alicia offers us a remarkable example of what prayer looks like when you are moving your feet.
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“I am trying to … trust that we are exactly where we are meant to be. I have never had to do anything this difficult before, I keep waiting for it to get easier, to become more routine but it seems like it just gets more challenging. I have so many things to be thankful for and I feel as though I am being selfish to want more. We had a wonderful visit with Steve… It seemed like his visit was never going to get here and now it is already over and we are back to counting days till he can come back.

Connor had to go to the emergency room on Monday night because he caught baby Carson’s cold and his fever just wouldn’t go away. After a blood test and a couple of hours at the ER they sent us home. Connor’s ANC (white blood cells) are almost back to “normal” so he is able to fight the viral infection without needing to stay at the hospital (yeah!). He seems to be doing much better today. The Dr. said he looked good and she doesn’t need to see him again until next week unless he his fever goes back up.

Connor’s hair was falling out from the chemo and he was getting some bald patches so while Steve was here we decided to shave his head. He now looks like all the other kids here. Bald is beautiful.

Staying at the Ronald McDonald House a lot of the kids look the same as him; big cheeks from the steroids and bald little heads. It is not until we go to the store that I realize just how different he looks. When you hear people make comments about his appearance I feel like I should explain the reason he looks the way he does, but if it doesn’t bother Connor, it doesn’t bother me.

Carson seems to be feeling better, finally over his cold and his thrush seems to be going away. He will be crawling any day now. I am OK. I have good days and moments when I can’t wait for the day to be done. Overall I am keeping my head above water, trying not to be overwhelmed and pushing forward. We have been here over a month now and pretty soon the months will turn into us being able to go home. I appreciate all the love and support from everyone. It amazes me everyday how lucky I am to have so many people who care about us.

Please pray:
For lower than 1% on Connor’s next bone marrow test (6/28/06)
We will all get over this cold
That even though there are miles between Steve and I we stay connected”
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In big and small ways we each can make a difference. Everyone is called in some way to pray while or by moving our feet. All that is called for is picking up one foot and putting it in front of the other motivated by a clear intention even when we may not want to, or even when our steps feel imperfect. With your heart wide open and acting from a place of love, with a willingness to recognize happiness regardless of your circumstances, joy and grace will be your steady companions, in spite of small bumps, huge hurdles, or inconvenient truths.

In Joy,
Rhonda
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Money Desn’t Really Buy Happiness
Ode Magazine
24-Aug-2004

It may not seem like it to us, but research shows that money doesn’t buy happiness. Another ongoing controversy is whether it’s hard on children when their mothers work. Scientists have found this is true—but only for wealthy women!

On a scale of 1 to 7, where 1 means “not at all satisfied with my life” and 7 means “completely satisfied,” the people on Forbes magazine’s list of the 400 richest Americans average 5.8—the same as the Inuit people in Greenland and the cattle-herding Masai of Kenya, who live in dung huts with no electricity or running water. Calcutta’s slum dwellers score only a little lower, at 4.6.

Psychologists Ed Diener and Martin E.P. Seligman analyzed more than 150 studies on wealth and happiness and found that “economic indicators have glaring shortcomings” when it comes to determining how happy people are. They report that, in many countries, “although economic output has risen steeply over the past decades, there has been no rise in life satisfaction…and there has been a substantial increase in depression and distrust…Economic success falls short as a measure of well-being, in part because materialism can negatively influence well-being, and also because it is possible to be happy without living a life of luxury.”

Also, people who say they’re happy usually go on, years later, to earn higher incomes than people who say they’re not. We would think that being discontent would inspire people to succeed, but the opposite seems to be true.

Government policies that promote economic growth, while shortchanging workers on things like vacation time, family time and health insurance, will not produce happy citizens. Since World War II, the per capita income in the U.S. has tripled, but life satisfaction has stayed the same. The same thing has happened in Japan and Western Europe. One reason may be that a rising economy, and the aggressive advertising that accompanies it, makes people desire even more things; therefore, they remain discontented.

A new study shows that most mothers who go out to work do not harm their children’s development—unless they earn a lot of money. While 90% of mothers work during their child’s first nine years, only 15% put in more than 35 hours per week, but women in high powered—and high paying—jobs often work longer hours. And the study showed that an extra 20 hours of work a week among high income mothers did significant damage to their children’s performance in school.

Why would this be? One reason could be that lower income mothers bring in money that buys necessities and thus is vital to family happiness, while upper income mothers mostly earn luxuries that do not make up for the lost time with their kids.

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Drive-By Quotes (and Reflections) To Carry
With You on the Journey

“Rivers know this: There is no hurry, we shall get there some day.”

– Winnie the Pooh

“We would worry less about what others think of us
if we realized how seldom they do.”

– Ethel Barrett

“The worst sin - perhaps the only sin -
passion can commit, is to be joyless.”

– Dorothy Sayers

“Fun is about as good a habit as there is.”

– Jimmy Buffett

Overwhelm. Hurry. Rush. Deadlines. Pressures. Family demands. Not enough time. Collapse. A few tears. Surrender. Remember.

Oh, wait a minute. The sun is out. The air is fresh. I can close my eyes and take a deep breath, and even if only for a few brief moments I can reclaim a calm feeling in my chest. I can reclaim my Self.

It is so important to return to basics.

Slow down.
Breathe deep beyond your shallow chest breathing.
Notice each breath.
Experience each breath consciously.
See where you are.
Accept it.
Notice the simple wonders around you at this moment.
Give your body rest and nourishment.
Be mindful before you speak.
Drink a glass of water.
Taste your food as you eat.
Be still.
Learn to enjoy quiet.
Interrupt your spinning thinking.
Be here now.
Give your emotions a love break.
Feed your Spirit with uplifting stuff.
Forgive your errors.
Learn from them.
Celebrate a small step forward.
Listen to affirming and positive messages.
Turn off the news.
Hang out with people you don’t need to please.
Be grateful for who you are, warts and all.
Demonstrate gratitude to those who are truly helpful.
Give something anonymously without thought of return.
Paint your toenails.
Find some sand to wiggle your toes in (before you paint them!)
Have fun and take a play day without guilt.
Savor a piece of chocolate.
Smile at a child.
Blow a kiss to someone you love.
Leave fresh flowers on a friend’s porch.
Find an excuse to giggle.
Be good to yourself in all ways.

You can feel when you are off path. The more aware you become in every moment, the more joy you find. Pay attention. You have your own barometer (pain, getting sick, off balance, anxiety, money concerns, etc.) that tells you when you have forgotten your purpose or detoured from creating your own happiness.

We all lose our way amidst the turmoil of life. Just turn around and get your self back on course. We fall from time to time. You only need to get up one more time than you fall. This is success.

But, don’t forget to learn from having traveled through rugged terrain. Make the detour worthwhile. Hitting a patch of rough road causes you to be even more grateful when you are on course, and less likely to make the same detour again. It also helps you to be clearer about the direction you truly choose to head.

During these light-filled days we are motivated by the trees, called out by the blue sky, inspired to inhale fresh air, and nurtured by the warmth of the light. We are reminded to return to basics, inside and out, and savor each moment. When we dare to slow down and drink in the beauty that cradles us, we connect to the beauty that is true and loving within. Our passion is renewed with and ignited by what matters to us. With our hearts open we dare to declare what we want. We enjoy the warmth before it wanes. We connect with our magnificence as women.

Hello Friends and Traveling Companions,

The sun is playing hide and seek with the hopeful promise of summer finally taking hold here in Washington. It’s time to get our doors and get moving to shake off the sticky gray that can linger in the northwest, inside and out.

Have you ever come to deep rut or an unexpected D.I.P. in the road of life? Everyone at some point goes through a time when we lose our perspective and see the road of life as more treacherous than perhaps it is. Faced with a challenge we can become a D.I.P., a Dysfunctionally Independent Person. We hunker down, close people out, and attempt to go it alone. Before we realize it we can trap ourselves in our unwillingness to see anything but the low side of life.

Once depressed we feel like winter has its grip, we have hit a patch of black ice and are skidding out of control. We slip and slide with no traction and get thrown into a state of survival, disillusionment and despair that causes us to lose our confidence, creativity, and compassion in our tailspin.

Although our circumstances can be very tough and seem overwhelming at times, we are masters at making a bad situation worse than it needs to be. The culprit is our catastrophe thinking. The quality of our thinking directly influences the quality of what we experience. Once on a roll it picks up momentum, hooks up in cable and orders pizza.

At times like this we may lose sight of the sun, but though seemingly out of sight, the it has not ceased to exist. When listening to an old transistor radio and we get static, it does not mean that the radio station has disappeared. Instead, it means we have gone out of the reach of its signal. It is our thinking that takes us out of the reach of happiness.

The sun is shining behind the clouds. The sun, like happiness, is constant. It is our ability to access the sun that we allow to get interrupted. So, what do we do to break free of our inner winter gloom and realign with the light so we can catch a few rays?

Even in the worst of times all we really need to do is to handle this moment, and then the next second, and then another. Concentrating our focus on all that is working rather than fixing our gaze on all that is not allows the storm to eventually pass and more positive thinking to return. This does not mean that we gloss over pain or frustration. Like a whining child, it needs to be acknowledged before it can dissipate or transform. Resisting our emotions and pretending they are not there takes a tremendous amount of energy, like trying to hold a beach ball under water. As we take responsibility for the quality of our thinking, we become able to choose its direction, allowing us to reconnect with our ability to break free and to move through our fears all the stronger.

As the sun begins to shine on the Great Northwest and summer takes on it’s active hum, D.I.P. signs may appear as a way of reminding you that you have a choice, if not in the circumstances, in your attitude. By enhancing the quality of your thoughts you will be able to see above the low spot and shift your perception to appreciate all of life’s simple wonders. Gratitude, consciousness, and authentic action are the paths to take to more easily re-establishing a powerful, productive, purposeful, and positive direction.

By the nature of depression, you may not want to ask for help or get moving. Yet, reaching out when we least feel like it is an important antidote to depression, and counteracts our tendency to live life as a D.I.P., a Dysfunctionally Independent Person. So, adjust your negative thinking, refocus on the present moment, take even little steps into the sunlight and connect with your friends and loved ones to fully enjoy the long warm days of summer.

In Joy,
Rhonda