:: The Center of Happiness ::

I just love ’a-ha’ moments. So, I beg your indulgence for some ‘soon to be my birthday’ ramblings.

I have long realized freedom to be one of my core values. Having Annie Oakley as a distant cousin helps make sense of my feisty awkwardness in this linear reality called life. I have struggled to find ‘traditional’ ways to channel my talents and tame my loquacious nature, but seldom have felt like I fit easily and completely. Such is life as a ‘right-brained’ introspective spirit that was dropped for some uncertain reason into a culture that is designed to be ‘left-brained’ friendly.

Life is a messy yet amazing journey. I have explored along the way as a pioneer attempting to make sense the map I was given of my place and purpose in it. I have made the best of being a bit counter-culture and accepted that I march to the beat of a different drummer at times. I have shaped my diverse skills and intuitive way to nurture and honor the power of choice for my self and others, inner and outer.

It seems to be a common question to ask, “Who an I?” and “Why am I here?” How does one find happiness when life can be so uncertain?

As far as I can tell, the common and defining thread in my life is that I show up at times of transition, expecting joy and looking to bring meaning and peace regardless of the situation caused by change. I bring a knowing of the power of connection and acceptance, and the energy of discernment that holds the space for miracles to happen. I tend to be the one who hold open the door for insights to be born and for love to enter, even at times when the situations at hand make it difficult for light and joy to prevail. Peace and steadfastness are the calming ingredients I offer every situation, and have done so ever since I was born.

Whatever the ‘it’ is that I contribute, it seldom comes in a ‘nine-to-five form, and even when I was a therapist I wasn’t good at fitting deep and life-changing conversations into a fifty minute hour.

Ihave reached for and done my best to connect others to the possibility of peace without pushing. I tend their magnificence when they have forgotten, and hold the space for it until they remember.

I have been known to take subtle steps as well as leaps of faith in my own life toward freedom and happiness to model embracing life as a delicious invitation to create meaning and to highlight our significance.

With my birthday just around the corner, at this time of year often find myself reflective, living up to my loquacious nature.

How did I not find that word until just last week! Loquacious is what I have beenaccused of being my whole life, just not using this amazing word!

When awakened by losses embedded in life you more consciously look for thebest ways possible to dive into your remaining time with verve.

That’s a great word, verve.

Each birthday taps you on the shoulder with a sweet invitation to notice simple wonders and not pass up opportunities that would have otherwise gone unnoticed. The course of our life can shift at any time, so I strongly lean in the direction of savoring each present moment so as not to be left with regrets and resentments… or words that feel important to say. It seems best to get busy, not only crafting our ‘Bucket List’, but daring to live it relentlessly to fulfillment.

At the risk of being called ‘loquacious’, I ask for birthday permission to ramble a bit more, unedited. Assuming my wish is granted, here are a few more birthday ponderings…

I was born in the fifth month of May on the 31^st day in 1951. Though I don’t know a lot about numerology, the number five numerically is the number that represents freedom, adventure, and change.

Here are characteristics I found of the number 5:

You make friends easily, you are versatile and multi-talented, upbeat and inspirational and a good communicator and motivator. You have great verbal skills and you are very dynamic, persuasive, adaptable, versatile and curious, courageous, bright and quick-witted.

You are an explorer and adventurer who wants to experience all of life, you also like to perform in front of audiences and you like to do several things at the same time.

One word could have replaced all of these to describe the characteristics of five… my new favorite word… loquacious!

As a little girl my dad had me convinced that everyone was taking Memorial Day off to celebrate my birthday! Memorial Day is a day to honor those who protect freedom. I suppose that could be described as the intention of my path, to honor the freedom, especially of women and children, to be authentically who we are, happy and joyful regardless of our circumstances.

Being somehow a ‘doula’ of life’s transitional moments from womb-to-tomb, I have been called to serve those who are willing to make friends with change, curious enough to expand their consciousness and compassion, and determined to claim freedom from their old ways of thinking. Whether through giving birth, entering into a new phase of life, getting married or divorced, illness, loss, or through the transition, expected or unexpected at the end of life in this form, lessons and insights are abundant. I encourage people back to knowing their own magnificence and coax weary hearts to focus on fresh possibilities.

Whether it makes sense or not, I seem to be the emissary chosen to hold the space for joy and freedom in good times and amidst challenges. I am a right-brained bridge person called to stir up the left brained perspective to reveal for us all the connection between and benefits of harmony and diversity.

Happy Birthday to me, and let freedom ring.

I have been easily pondering happiness as I share time this week with my niece, Alicia, and her oldest son, Connor, now three-and-a-half. He is my grandnephew and I am more than delighted to spend time with them visiting Seattle from Alaska.

As many of you know it is not a pleasure trip for them, but instead a week long adventure of doctor’s visits, procedures and re-evaluations. When Connor was barely two he was diagnosed with A.L.L. leukemia. After highs and lows, a bone marrow transplant, weeks in isolation, and a stay that lasted well over a year where Connor and his family lived between Children’s Hospital and the Ronald McDonald House, it appears most gratefully that Connor is one of the lucky ones. At this moment he appears to once again be a normal, active little boy who is cancer free.

It is Connor and his family who taught me beyond a shadow of a doubt that happiness is possible, even amidst hideous circumstances. Perhaps not easy, but it is possible. It calls for a new way of seeing and a willingness to surrender to the moment.

Happiness is not dependent upon money, although it can be an amazing asset to facilitate joy, or health, although it might have been easier to sustain joy without this weighty detour into illness that flirted with death. Choice was key, and the determination to see happiness in the cracks of life was essential.

With the near loss of someone so innocent and the awareness this situation brought that life is so fragile, Connor’s journey, accompanied by his dedicated family and support circle of amazing and generous angels, offered us all a new way of treasuring life, and a more conscious way of appreciating each moment. Connor’s gift to us was a peace beyond comprehension. Our strength and faith was expanded by experiencing that happiness is ours when we open our hearts to the blessings of what is, and the power of connecting in a healing circle beyond differences and circumstances.

Between medical appointments today I strolled through a near by park with Connor and his mom, content and grateful for one positive report after another. You could tell Alicia was savoring what others might take for granted. Her son was finding great joy in kicking pine cones and chasing his shadow.

With a sweet smile on her face I overheard Alicia say, “Connor, I love you”, to which Connor replied, “I love me, too.” One more important lesson offered by a now not so bald headed little Buddha.

This is happiness at its best.

Contrary to what most of us have learned, we must take care of ourselves first in order to authentically care for others. We just cannot give from an empty cup, or drive a car without gas. Even though we may have good intentions, when we force ourselves to take on more than we can gracefully handle, in out attempt to make a difference and teach about prosperity and possibility, we are instead modeling poverty and lack.

So it’s an important question to ask. Are you feeling overwhelmed? What exactly is the ‘whelm’ we are always trying to get over?

Overwhelm is defined as being overcome in thought or feeling, being decisively defeated, or rendered powerless. So how do we become overwhelmed by joy, rather than stress? My suggestion, even though you may not like it…

Give up multi-tasking. Well, maybe not completely, but at least when you find yourself frantic and reacting, rather than responding to life’s potholes. Trying harder only leads to disaster. Rather than go ‘cold-turkey’ at least make your multi-tasking more conscious. Don’t settle for just meandering through life on autopilot or attempting to force life along. It may work for a while, or at least appear to, but eventually you’ll have a six-car pile up! Trust me, you don’t want to miss the joys of the moment, and when you run too fast focused on all that’s not working, you miss out on the simple joys and miracles of NOW. When we move too fast and do too much, we aren’t really experiencing anything along the way.
(more…)

Dear Fellow Traveling Companions,

I shared a delightful day with a dear friend, each tucked in our own corner of the room, each working on our individual projects that had a deadline. Come lunchtime we got out her good china and silver settings to have a very ordinary lunch in an elegant fashion. After lunch and before returning to our work we took a glorious walk along the beach on an absolutely spectacular day. With the days of summer few, we decided not to wait.

“Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion.
Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes.
Every day you are alive is a special occasion.
Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.”

–Mary Manin Morrissey

We keep waiting. We live life trapped and limited by the feelings of “what if…” and “only when…” when now is the only moment we really have.

Too many of us have been caught short of time, money, or love because we waited for what we thought would be the perfect time further down the road. It is important not to wait to be happy. We can be happy right now. Even if we are sitting in a pile of ‘circumstances’ the happiness is only a choice away for it is not our circumstances that matter, it is how we view them, and the way we view them is what generates our reality.

There are plenty of people with perfect health and pile of money who feel empty and alone, and there are those who have lost what would be judged as everything to cancer or a fire, and still they consider themselves to be the richest person in the world. Having more does not guarantee happiness. Being present is the present.

Your happiness is not dependent on having ‘more’. It requires knowing only that you are enough.

A SHORTCUT TO HAPPINESS:
Today, I don’t wait to be happy. Regardless of the magnitude of my circumstances, I find some reason to be happy now. I pick up the phone and call that person who is on my mind that I haven’t spoken to in forever. I forgive the grudge I hold toward a person by whom I feel I have been wronged. I take the vacation I have dreamed about rather than wait until I retire someday.

“Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.”

– Yoda, Return of the Jedi

How could a little green alien be so wise?

Go ahead. Right now, try to get up from your chair. I’m serious. Just try. If you succeed in any way, you have not tried, but actually done something even though it may not be perfect or complete.

However, the truth is that there is no such thing as just ‘trying’ if we are taking even one small step or making one conscious gesture in the direction of our dream beyond doing nothing. You have taken action, and that counts.

Procrastinators are perfectionists in disguise. Don’t wait to do something until you are certain you can do it perfectly. Life is messy and mistakes offer insights, so dare to start now. By connecting the dots between all our small gestures, feelings, and actions and by leaning in the direction of our intentions, we create a continuous flow of energy and expand our happiness. If we combine this with a sustained belief in the possibilities, our dream becomes a reality.

Do you remember when your mom would tell you to, “Do your homework” to which you would reply, “I’ll try”? Translated, this meant that you most likely had no real intention to do your homework and would do nothing.

Trying is a state of inaction. Follow Yoda’s instruction. Do, even if it means one small step in the direction of your intention. Your thoughts, feelings, and actions combined with your intention are what manifest your desire.

Now, go do your homework.

A SHORT CUT TO HAPPINESS:
Today I do my homework. I take action knowing that even one small step is more than just trying. I get clear on what I intend, and then make my thoughts, feelings, and actions congruent. No more trying. Today I DO in spite of my hesitations, shaping my choices and actions according to my values.

“Gratitude is the most passionate transformative force in the cosmos. If you give thanks for five gifts every day, in two months you may not look at your life in the same way as you might now.”

– Sarah Ban Breathnach

Gratitude is a key to joy. Being grateful regardless of the circumstances offers us incredible freedom. It is not a matter of having rose-colored glasses or running from inevitable twists and turns, for challenges that are denied or ignored will resurface for further examination.
We must face challenge assuming there is a gem to be had. Although grief, disappointment, and anger can sometimes pull us off track, if we ride the wave rather than attach to our pain, it will play it’s course and guide us to the silver lining. At each choice point we can see ourselves as a victim or as one who thrives in spite of challenges.

MY SHORTCUT TODAY:
Today I attune my eyes to look for the gifts even in tragic or challenging situations, confident that the blessings will reveal themselves. I embrace the wave of emotions that comes with disappointments, but know that they will pass to reveal benefits for my personal growth. I notice even small gifts, for what I focus on expands.

“When I’m worried and I can’t sleep
I count my blessing instead of sheep
And I fall asleep, counting my blessings”

– lyrics by Diana Kral

Sleepless? Do you toss and turn with your mind flooded with things undone and worries that haunt you? Gratitude is the key. Focus your attention on the miracle of life by recounting all the things, big and small, that have gone well today (are you still breathing?) instead of recounting what you perceive to be your shortcomings.

Let’s say that in any given day one hundred things happen, and ninety-nine go more or less right. There is only one thing out of a hundred that did not go according to your expectations. And yet, what is it that you tend to talk about over dinner? We share our ‘woe is me’ story.

That’s right! We automatically place our focus on the one thing short of our anticipated goal and stretch it out of proportion. By magnifying its importance we invite worrisome thoughts and habituate our ability to notice other irritations. Rather than having a worry-fest to hone your negative thinking that insures despair and worry, we must retrain ourselves to notice and emphasize all the blessings that surround us.

At the end of each day (and at every conscious moment in between) count your blessings instead of your flock of concerns. Announce your positive experiences, to yourself, your family, or captured in a journal. Gratitude provides a wonderful bookend to protect you from fear and prepares your Spirit to surrender the day, find restful sleep, and prepare to greet another day with greater joy, creativity, and hope.

MY SHORTCUT TODAY:
Today I catch my wandering mind before it settles on expanding unnecessarily any disappointments and irritations that come via my judgments. I retrain myself to notice even the simple wonders, and feel my body release tension as I make my bed a place of peace. Here I count my blessings as my ritual to close the day, acknowledge myself for all my good intentions, and surrender my thoughts transformed to happy dreams.

Have you ever been late for an appointment thinking there wasn’t
enough time to stop for gas, only to sputter, cough, and run out along
the way? You then spend three times as much time cursing at the side
of the road waiting for help than it would have taken to stop and
‘fill up’.

In our busy lives we operate by the myth that speed is a requirement
for success. Although it is a perspective that elicits a gasp from
hardcore overachievers, the real truth is that focus is more fruitful
than speed. Often what appears to be speed is instead a refined art of
spinning our wheels. This blind spot leaves us driven by an
ever-increasing volume of information with the expectation that we
must go faster and faster to handle it all. We mistakenly believe that
if we figure out how to do more in less time we will somehow be able
to get it all done! Honestly, is there ever really an end to the TO-DO
list?

Less than 100 years ago over a two year period of time people took in
information equivalent to what we are bombarded with each and every
day? No wonder we feel so overwhelmed! We force ourselves ahead by the
false belief that we must keep up with and digest the ever-increasing
speed of information. This mode of traveling the road of life is a
certain method of self-sabotage and doesn’t leave much time to enjoy
the scenery along the way.

Durable happiness and authentic productivity become our traveling
companions when we learn to identify our personal values, accept our
worth, embrace our strengths and nurture our own well being.

If we don’t stop to refuel our inner spirit we will get nowhere fast.
We will be no further ahead, running on empty in the fast lane, and
eventually will run out of gas still stuck in the same old rut.

Even though stress related illnesses are one of the leading causes of
death, for some of us it would take a miracle to slow our pace.
Although we often aren’t quite sure where we are going, we’re making
such good time we refuse to consider stopping.

The bad news is that we will stop one-way or another! The good news is
that miracles are time efficient. They are prompted by a shift in
perception that allows us to realize the benefits of a more conscious
pace. Durable happiness comes to us rather than is something we chase
when we dare to drive-in rather than search outward for answers.

Happiness is not something you figure out, but rather invite in. When
we take a YOU-TURN inward we are more likely to hear the wisdom and
intuition that was shut off in our hurry. When we coordinate our head
with our heart, balancing our inner values with outer demands, we
actually move forward with greater energy, clarity, productivity and
joy to everyone’s benefit.

The greatest gift we can give another is to choose to take full
accountability and responsibility for our own happiness. The miracle
of greater happiness is ours when embrace ourselves as worthy enough
to take time for ourselves. If you don’t start your journey from this
point you wind up fulfilling everyone’s dreams but your own.

The road to joy is paved by being fully who we are in everything we
do, having the courage to fully honor ourselves and by savoring the
present moment. When we clarify our own dreams and values we can more authentically be our self. When we are more genuinely our most loving self, we best serve others. When we know that we have lived well, and loved authentically we create the legacy marked by our journey.

Welcome to this week’s DRIVE YOURSELF HAPPY Road Ramblings.

If you find value in these gentle reminders and rules for the road, please invite your friends to sign up for my free newsletter by visiting www.driveyourselfhappy.com. Also visit my blog site, www.centerofhappiness.com.

I’d like to welcome all of our new subscribers to the DRIVE YOURSELF HAPPY Road Ramblings newsletter and acknowledge you for taking the first step toward living a better life.

Today’s rambling from the road will include:

* A Few Basic Rules for the Road of Life by Rhonda Hull, Ph.D.
* Update of a Miracle In the Making - An Unfolding Lesson in Happiness
* Enjoy These Videos
* Drive-By Quotes To Carry With You on the Journey

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A Few Basic Rules for the Road of Life
by Rhonda Hull, Ph.D.

Hello Friends and Traveling Companions,

We all hit a few bumps, twists and turns along the way on the road of life. Here are a few basic rules for the road to help make even the most challenging adventure a joy ride:

1. It’s what’s under the hood that counts

C = CHOICE - ability and Consciousness
* You are not a victim of your circumstances.
* IAMNOWHERE
* The circumstances don’t matter, it’s the grace with which you deal with them
* Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a method of traveling
* You can be happy regardless of the circumstances
* Your POWER is in your ability to choose
* Dissolve resistance
* Intention vs. Agenda
* No more back seat driving. Put yourself back in the driver’s seat

A = ACCOUNT - ability and Authenticity
* FEAR based vs. CHOICE based accountability
* Find your authentic self
* What do you want
* Our thoughts and the feelings attached to them are off course
* Welcome mistakes as opportunities to learn
* Be gentle and kind
* Focus on what’s working
* The importance of applying the lesson to the next opportunity
* The importance of having your words and actions match
* Redefine commitment
* Put your W on the line

R = RESPONSE - ability rather than Reacting
* Responding vs. Reacting
* Recognize the choice point between responding and reacting
* Make friends with change
* Big Stuff vs. Small Stuff
* Dare to slow down — unravel the myth that faster is better or more is better
* Communicating is not just words. Listening is more than waiting or your turn to talk.
* Be discerning and conscious
* Expand compassion
* Receive

2. If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.

* Put first things first.
* Create your own definition of happiness and getting clear on what’s important to you
* Force vs. Allowing
* Let the answers come to you
* Have the faith that they will

3. The journey is as valuable as the destination.

* See the value in incremental steps
* Celebrate miracles - big and small
* Acknowledge inner listening and proactive choices
* Focus on what’s working - aim for the apex of the turn.
* What you see IS what you get
* Believing is seeing
* Look for the extraordinary in the ordinary
* There is a valuable lesson and a blessing in every challenge

4. Learn to refuel at a Self-Serve station

* Being centered vs. being selfish
* Balance your tires - Mental, Physical, Emotional and Spiritual
* Others will love and respect you to the degree to which you love and respect yourself
* You can’t drive yourself or anyone else with an empty tank
* The quality of your thoughts determines the quality of your experience
* It’s your thoughts that are miserable, not your life
* Never once in the history of the universe has worrying ever changed an outcome
* Start by becoming aware of your negative thinking mind chatter and exercise your choice
* An attitude of gratitude is the antidote for worry
* Worrying vs. Caring

5. Don’t back up, severe tire damage may occur.

* The past is something you cannot change
* Forgiving does not mean condoning the actions of another
* Forgiving is for giving - It gives you freedom, empowers you, and conserves your energy

6. The road of life is always under construction, expect delays

* Change is the only thing you can really count on
* What you resist persists
* What you focus on, you create more of
* Row, Row, Row Your Boat
* Put hour hands up on the roller coaster, but fasten your seat belt
* Find your own pace - The Tortoise and the Hare
* Size doesn’t matter
* The journey of a million miles begins with the first step
* Perfectionists are procrastinators in disguise
* Strive for excellence, not perfection
* Use mistakes are opportunities to learn
* Be quick to forgive
* Being off course is a valuable part of being on course
* Boundaries vs. Walls
* It’s OK to stop and ask for directions
* Let the answers come to you
* Notice Signs of Happiness

7. Start your engines
* NOW is the only moment you really have
* The most important things in life aren’t things
* STOP making the insignificant things important and the important things insignificant
* Dance as if nobody’s watching
* You are not alone - Ask
* Give and live from the heart
* Be here now. Don’t wait for the catastrophe
* Life is the Precious Present

In Joy,

Rhonda

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Update on a Miracle in the Making -
An Unfolding Lesson in Happiness

Dear Travelers (on the sometimes bumpy road of life),

I am delighted to share more good news about Connor. It touches my heart most to hear Alicia talk of Connor’s ability not to resist, but to walk into the unknown willingly and with complete trust. He remains one of the most profound teachers in my lifetime. I invite you in honor of his courageous journey, to face any little resistance that pops up in your life today with greater grace. Allow your self to notice simple pleasures along the way as he down, and laugh. His sense of humor is amazing. And, oh, he loves to laugh.

Thanks again for your relentless love and support.

Blessings to you all,
Connor’s Aunt BoBo,
Rhonda

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ALICIA’S UPDATE:

Hello to all,

The last week has been fairly uneventful as far as hospital life goes. Connor has continued to improve and becomes stronger with each day. The only obstacle standing in the way of him returning to the Ronald McDonald House is his lack of appetite. He has not had anything to eat in a month. All of his nutrition has been given to him by I.V. in hopes that he would start to show more interest in food and they could gradually decrease his I.V. Since there are a couple of possibilities for him showing no interest in food the doctors decided that he needed to have a scope of his stomach done yesterday. We are still waiting for the results but the doctors feel pretty confident that it is graft verses host disease (GVHD). This is where the new bone marrow (graft) is starting to fight against Connor’s body (host). This is fairly common and even expected after a transplant but we want to make sure that it stays as a mild case. The doctors treat it with a 6-week therapy of ster
oids which will also help increase his appetite. Connor’s white blood cell count (ANC) has also continued to recover and has now been over 1000 for enough days for the doctors to consider him to be engrafted.

Given that Connor has been feeling so good he has been able to get out of the hospital on a 4 hour pass the last few days. Each day that we have been able to leave the hospital on pass Connor is so excited to be free for a few hours, to not be restrained by tubes and being confined to a room that seems to get smaller each day that he feels better. Still as his time of freedom comes to an end each day and he know that he will be returning to tubes, tests, and procedures he accepts that this is what needs to happen and happily comes back to the hospital. As adults we protest situations, even if they are unavoidable, where we know the result will not be pleasant. Had Connor decided to protest every time we had to return to the hospital or go to a doctors appointment it would have made this adventure much more difficult.

We have been fortunate to have many wonderful people here to help over the last couple of weeks. Over the next few days my friend Melissa, Grandma Robin and Steve will all return home. On top of that big change Connor will hopefully be discharged from the hospital. This will be a big adjustment for all of us and seems a bit overwhelming for me as Connor’s care now will be primarily my responsibility. I can not believe it is already time for Steve to go home. It has been amazing having him here as we maneuvered through the highs and lows of transplant. While I wish he could stay until we were all able to go home I know it is necessary for him to go home to get the house ready for us.

Yesterday, as I watched Connor hold Steve’s hand as he left to go have his scope it made me think of how brave he is to be walking into the unknown without showing any fear. He had no idea what was in store for him but he trusted it was going to be okay because he had his daddy’s hand. Just like Connor trusted Steve, I intend to trust in God as he leads me into the next phase of our journey. I know that He knows what is ahead for us and that He will be with us every step of the way.

As I wrote in a previous update our church family had an auction to help raise money for the ongoing expenses that continue to arise. The outpouring of love and support has been remarkable. The money raised will allow us to make the necessary changes to our house so that it will be safe for Connor to come home. Thank you to everyone for your generosity. Words cannot begin explain the gratitude we have for the continued love, prayers and encouragement.

All our love,
The Dunham’s
Steve, Alicia, Connor and Carson

Alicia R. Dunham
5130 40th Ave NE Room B13
Seattle WA 98105
www.connordunham.com

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Enjoy These Videos

The most recent video of Connor’s version of Three Little Monkey’s Jumping on the Bed:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4975680130496606857

Connor singing Jungle Bells:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8102310106978460293
www.connordunham.com

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Drive-By Quotes To Carry With You on the Journey

“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.”

– Agnes Repplier

Let me
keep my mind on what matters,
which is my work,
which is mostly standing still and learning to be
astonished.

– Mary Oliver, from her new book Thirst

“I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get our of the way and let them have it.”

– President Dwight Eisenhower
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If you’re serious about learning some new rules for the road of life that will guide you in creating resilient happiness today instead of years down a very bumpy road, you may want to learn more about my book, Drive Yourself Happy: A Motor-vational Maintenance Manual for Maneuvering Through Life. In it I turn everyday road signs into signs of happiness guideposts that remind you of your wisdom literally at every turn. My book will offer you practical and powerful guidance for having joyful balance in your life regardless of your circumstances.

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If you feel this newsletter would make the road of life a bit easier for another, please pass along. Invite all your family and friends to sign up for my newsletter by visiting www.driveyourselfhappy.com.

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I spent the day on a detour. My grandnephew almost 2 1/2 is battling a healing journey. He has leukemia and will in days receive a bone marrow transplant that increases his survival prediction from 30% to 70%. Last May he was barely two with a full head of hair living in Alaska and today he sports a baldhead, no eyelashes or eyebrows. His spirit is immense!!!!!!! He is supposed to travel no further than 1 hour from the hospital. Even though I live 2 hours away on the Olympic Peninsula of Washington his parents, baby brother, and Connor ventured by ferry and car my way. They dared to break the rules!!!! My recovering Catholic applauds their choice.

The risk of coming became greater than the risk of not coming. Connor’s counts were high enough to have him out in open areas even though his immune system is severely compromised, and so they came my way and we took him to the Olympic Peninsula Game Farm to feed bread to the bears and buffalo. From the safety of the car he was able to take in this adventure. For these few hours he was free again. The look on his face as the bears waved and the buffalos pressed their huge heads against the car window dissolved the risks of being far away from the hospital in favor of living life as fully as possible today… embracing this moment, this opportunity that we have today to have joy, not certain what tomorrow will bring.

Next week Connor will begin days of intense radiation in preparation for the transplant. Then he will be in total isolation for over 100 days with every prayer and every vision focused on his survival and thriving rather than the alternative. But, truthfully, the alternative is there, so the memories made today became even more important. It has been well worth letting the other parts of life drop and shape-shift to expand my knowing of true joy.

The past months since last May and Connor’s diagnosis I have been pulled from my steps toward my own passions to walk instead in synch with Connor and his family as they maneuver the highs and lows of an unexpected year’s stay in Seattle. I consciously did this not fully knowing the demand, emotionally and physically. And yet, I can go for a few days and come home to my cozy bed and freedom of my home while they remain confined to hospital or their small room at the Ronald McDonald House. I answered the call to be with them, and occasionally look back at the fork in the road… but without regret. I have disappointed friends, compromised commitments with colleagues and work friends, missed deadlines, challenged my finances, and made promises with good intentions and then I found I couldn’t keep them in the world of cancer where life is present moment and the future is unpredictable. I have been weary from long days and nights and lifting more than I should. I have been incredibly teary and incredibly strong. I am more committed to a world of peace. I have been reminded in a totally new way of the importance of the moment, and the need to only take the next step. I am here now. Here are my arms, use these hands. My heart is open.

Today I saw Connor absolutely light up separated only by a fence or a window from animals many times his size. Wonder and delight consumed him rather than cancer for those moments, and is gift to us all was true joy, authentic happiness. Even here, especially here, happiness is possible.