As many of you know, I have a three-year-old grandson who experiences autism. He is an amazing child who ‘marches to the beat of a different drummer.’ Passionate about the power of connection, I have felt drawn to him who has difficulty connecting, and have shifted my life to be close by to honor him in his world and hopefully expand his world to more fully include ours.

In June I will start a five day intensive training called Son Rise to learn more fully how to be of service to Brody’s needs and set up a home program for him. Who knows where this ‘YES’ will take me. It already has stretched my capacity to love authentically.

This program was started by Barry Kaufman, author of Happiness Is a Choice. Barry has long inspired me, even before I was aware that he had a severely autistic child who has since graduated from Brown University and is the CEO/Director of the Son Rise program at the Autism Treatment Center of America. Miracles do happen, and as Raun, his son, says, “I would rather be accused of having unrealistic optimism than unrealistic pessimism.”

These amazing kids are ever increasing in number, and I believe they are our canaries in the gold mine, here to alert us to the need to transform and heal our world and our way of being in relationship. They are here to remind us what is truly important.

Remember the story or the frogs and boiling water? If a frog is placed in a pot of already boiling water, the frog will make every effort to jump out, but if a frog is placed in a pot of cold water on the stove with gradually increasing heat, instead of jumping out when the water gets too hot, the frog will stay in the water and fall asleep until he meets his doom.

(Image by purpleslog via Flickr)

Reflected in this tendency, humans are similar. As the pace of life has gradually increased, we falsely believe that if we just run fast enough we can keep up with and manage all the pressures! Rather than recognize and declare our limits, we accommodate to the point of not knowing what we want. We are only half present when we are spread too thin. Attempting to juggle one more thing on top of another leads us to a state of “overwhelm” where all we do is react to all we face rather than choose to best design the life we want. We feel a victim of our circumstances rather than a co-creator of our reality. It’s hard to feel happy when we feel we have no life to call our own and stress is our only predictable emotion.

Under this kind of persistent pressure, everything seems urgent and we lose our ability to prioritize. When we are reacting rather than responding, we choose to fulfill the expectations of others rather than make decisions based on our values and what is important to us.

So, what is important to you? Dare to remember what makes your heart feel full. It’s not out there somewhere, but revealed from the inside out…from your insight out. Ponder and listen within, then write it down on paper. Journal your dreams and look for the themes. Get out old magazines, scissors and glue and don’t let your thoughts edit. Just follow the images that call you.

As you begin to reconnect with things you value, you will come to recognize the things that are important to you. These are the things that you will always put first in your life. Now, dare to make decisions that are congruent with what you have discovered to be important. Begin to decipher between ‘urgent’ and ‘important.’ Free yourself from the constant pressures. And access more durable happiness. Finding this clarity and having the courage to let a few of the less important balls drop will reveal greater meaning. When you define the things you treasure and are willing to defend, your direction becomes more certain, your stress is minimized, and happiness will be a more consistent traveling companion.

I have always been curious about words… their origin, their apparent meaning, and their embedded or double meaning. As many of you know, I also enjoy revising the meaning to words so they hold a more intentional impact.

A word that caught my fancy recently was one we hear far too often these days: overwhelmed. Everywhere I turned, I hear the word in conversation, experience it in everyone’s attitudes, and witness the result on people’s faces.

Honestly I, too, had a week that tempted me to concur, however, remembered the words of Mother Teresa,

“I know God will never give me more than I can handle, I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”

Her cantankerous commitment to optimism reminded me to take a deep breath and look again from a different view-point.

With her whispering in my ear, I insisted on believing there has to be a better way than despair, and somehow had it in me to refuse to succumb to this overwhelmed perception that only leads to feeling worse.

These feelings caused me to ponder what exactly is the “whelm” we are “overed” by? Hmmmmm. What is whelm?

whelm
Pronunciation: \?hwelm, ?welm\
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English
Date: 14th century
Definition:
1 : transitive verb 1 : to turn (as a dish or vessel) upside down, usually to cover something : cover or engulf completely with, usually disastrous effect
2 : to overcome in thought or feeling : overwhelm <whelmed with a rush of joy — G. A. Wagner> intransitive verb

When we get attached to the way we think life “should” be, we resist what is, even miss it all together. Life then moves forward about as easy as a car with the parking brake on. Our creativity and compassion shut down, prohibiting us to see all the alternative possibilities for joy available to us, even amidst challenging circumstances. Life becomes a pain in the rear to endure rather than an adventure to be explored.

Although perhaps better than living life in “reverse”, stuck in the rut of ruminating about how we have been victimized by the circumstances of our past that we cannot change, grumbling about what is causes our energy to get depleted and misdirected. We find ourselves even further from joy, baffled by how we got lost.

With a world that moves as fast as ours, it is easy to get caught up in feeling like we “should” get everything on the TO DO list done.

Holding tight to this belief, we actually “should” all over ourselves with expectations and anxiety. When we take this detour, believing it is the main road, every time we find ourselves in the land of “whelm” that comes the in “over” proportions. Refusing to turn back and admit our error, we try to instead to manipulate the future into being what we think it “should” be. Failing to follow our inner global positioning device that knows the power of grace and ease, we forfeit being happy now and miss the joy that is present in each moment.

Now, what was it that Albert Einstein said?

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Sound familiar?

Feeling overwhelmed makes it seem like the universe is conspiring against us, and yet we keep assuming we can overcome overwhelm. We keep assuming that happiness is somewhere out there. When we chase happiness, it acts like a mirage. Relief comes when we have the ‘a-ha’ that there is no “there” there. When we set aside our insane tendencies, joy is right here, right now and the trick is to have fun in the process.

So, who would you be if you did not waste all your energy on worry? How would you show up differently in your personal and professional relationships if you learned to appreciate the subtleties of each moment? What if we leaned in the direction of what we want, but remained unattached to the form of the blessings and miracles, trusting that the Universe is a generous companion for the journey who conspires with us instead so wonderful things will happen?

We have a choice point. When tempted by the adrenaline of drama and too much to do, will you take the high road or the low road? Will you be a human ‘DOing’ or a human ‘BEing?’

Imagine. What if life truly were an adventure where the “win” came from savoring the journey regardless of the circumstances rather than getting everything done on the TO DO list? What if that were the challenge of a life well lived, to focus on the beauty and wonder that is sometimes hidden between the cracks of life.  What if the point was to find joy and be intrigued by the process. How would you respond differently if life were a game to be played in an unfolding design full of interesting clues and opportunities destined to lead to joy? What if the game of life was to be played without the agenda to arrive at a specific destination in a specific way at a specific time, but rather a journey with the intention that in each moment joy is possible and love is the answer to every question.

Take a deep breath at each choice point. And, if you are overwhelmed with anything today, choose happiness.

In Joy,
Rhonda

With every step I take I am reminded by those around me that we all are challenged by these times that are so difficult for so many. How do we maintain joy? How is happiness sustainable when times are so tough?

Amidst contradictions, we are called to trust happiness, choose joy, walk focused fully forward, and evolve in good faith together. The path often seems dimly lit, yet we continue to take steps in the direction of love, trusting the Light. We sort for the ways that life is good rather than moan and complain about what is not working.

Lovevolves. It does, especially if we feed it.

The good news is that, through the community created by Drive Yourself Happy, we do not travel alone, and reminders to keep us on track are ours for the asking. I am committed to be in service of personal, local, and global change, and intend to be that friend, resource, place of authentic connection and community committed to happiness regardless of the circumstances. Though we are scattered around the globe, we have an awareness that there are others equally longing and committed to creating joy. We join hands and hearts and toward a hopeful future knowing we can influence and expand happiness at every turn.

As our Life Driving Instructor, I keep my fingers on the pulse of life and report what I see, feel, hear and experience, and well as share what I know to be true. With wonderful people like you I attempt to make each moment count, consciously accepting what is, and imagining positive change ahead. Together we bring our passions willingly alive to expand limitless possibilities for sustainable happiness even during turbulent times.

I applaud your courage and appreciate your tenacity on your journey. I share your concern and intention for making the world a better and more joyful place. With small steps and huge leaps of faith we are the change we want to see in the world, and are more powerful when we refine the art of being connected as true friends.

On this first day of Spring, I bow to you in gratitude, and ask that you help me to expand our community one kindred connection at a time. Please pass along the invitation to your friends to be come a part of the Drive Yourself Happy Community by signing up to receive my free newsletter.

HAPPY SPRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In Joy,

Rhonda

‘It’s possible for you to feel happy—and that
choice is yours to make at any moment.’
– Michael Neill (http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/)

I have had a horrible allergy for far too long.
Perhaps you do, too. Sales and marketing have
somehow seemed against my nature. I have felt
that to sell or promote compromises your integrity.
I have not felt comfortable in this role for as long
as I can remember. I have held the belief that
self-promotion is shameful and making money
means that someone else goes without. Pretty
limiting mis-beliefs, don’t you think?

We all have our old stories that we live as if they
were true. But, they ain’t necessarily so. Realizing
this, I have been on the journey of re-writing my
old stories and redefining my relationship with my
work, with money, and with promotion so that I
can do the work that I love, live prosperously so
I can be generous, and reach those whose road
may become easier by my services. Sales, promotion,
and prosperity can be slimy or spiritual, meaningful
or maddening. I get to choose. If I want to serve and
make a difference, it’s about time I get over the old
limiting beliefs and make room for what makes joy
possible.

I think many of us share this allergy, and in taking
proactive steps toward peace, freedom, joy and success,
I have included making friends with money, sales and
marketing as essential to my journey. It has always been
easy for me to promote those who I have been touched
by, but self-promotion has had its roadblocks.

Money, promotion and success aren’t bad. They need
not lead to slimy, pushy behavior. When offered with
integrity and honesty, they lead instead to being a channel
of service, support, and mutual gain. I can’t remember
who it was that said, “Money does not make a man,
but reveals him”. All I need to do is be who I authentically
am as I share my passions and insights.

A friend, coach, and colleague in the field of
happiness who has helped me expand my vantage
point, undo my ‘nots’ and get of my ‘but’ is Michael
Neill. He is an amazing writer, coach, radio host,
and voice-over talent. Michael is the voice of the Villian
in Scooby Doo, so he has my grandson’s deep admiration
for a reason other than mine. Simply put, he is a light
hearted, creative gem of a man who offers many practical
gifts.

I have the authentic honor to nudge you to purchase
Michael Neill’s newest book, Feel Happy Now! Feel Happy
Now! is one of those books you will read more than once
and return to often. It gives you a life-line to joy in turbulent
times. As you Drive Yourself Happy, this is a book you
will want to take along for the ride!

So, either go buy it right now (http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/),
or here’s more…

In his bestseller You Can Have What You Want, Michael
Neill revealed the practical benefits of cultivating inner
happiness for creating tangible real-world success. Now
he reveals the “how” of happiness—simple, effective ways
to make immediate and lasting changes to your moods,
your outlook, and your life. Inside, you will find key
formulas, experiments, and techniques to help you
experience your capacity to choose and to change.

. The Myths of Happiness—I’ll be happy when…, it’s not
possible to be happy in certain situations, and unhappiness
is good for us

. The Happy Formula—give yourself better feelings, tell
yourself better stories, and act on your inner knowing

. The Permission Principle—the reason people aren’t
happier more of the time isn’t because they can’t be—
it’s because they think they shouldn’t be

. Three-Step Recipe for Happiness and Well-Being—
on demand, anytime you want

. Behavioral Prozac™—ten small changes in the way
you think and what you do that will have a profound
effect on your well-being

Order your copy of Feel Happy Now! and discover
that there is always something you can do to make
things better. Send Michael your receipt and he’ll
send you a link to a collection of ‘Happy’ downloads.
Order 5 or more and he’ll send you a signed copy of
his new 6-CD set Effortless Success absolutely free!

Your Keys to Happiness from Michael Neill’s Feel
Happy Now!
Happiness is the process of creating and experiencing
good feelings in your body and mind, moment by
moment by moment.

While in theory happiness makes us feel wonderful,
in practice it enables us to create a more and more
wonderful life. The three tools we use to build our
happiness—the way we use our body, the maps we
make in our minds, and the stories we tell ourselves—
are the same tools we employ to make ourselves
miserable. Once you master the process, you get to
choose the result.

As you learn to stop arguing with reality, let go of
trying to control what’s outside of your control,
and start making clear choices about how you
want to be and behave in the world, you’ll find
yourself with less stress and greater serenity
than ever before.

…perhaps the greatest secret in life is this: There
is nothing wrong with you. Except for the stories
you may be telling yourself about how you’re
supposed to be, what you’re supposed to be doing,
and who you’re supposed to (or not supposed to)
be doing it with, you are perfect exactly as you are.

…it isn’t just what we do when we’re happy, but our
happiness itself that makes a difference in the world.

Occasionally, someone will ask whether using these
tools will mean that they’ll never feel unhappy again.
Fortunately, the answer is no—I’ve yet to come across
a lasting, meaningful happiness that doesn’t include
the full spectrum of experience and emotion. But I
know for myself the joy of a life that gets better and
better as I become happier and happier.

Praise for Michael’s book, Feel Happy Now!P…for
Michael Neill and Feel Happy Now!
‘Warning! As you read this book you will experience
many immediate positive side effects, including
gentle smiles and greater happiness. Michael Neill
evokes intimacy and hope in every chapter!’

– Robert Holden, Ph.D., author of Happiness NOW!

‘What Michael Neill has to say works. Read this book
and feel happy!’

– Candace B. Pert, Ph.D., best-selling author of
Everything You Need To Know To Feel Go(o)d

‘All I say is IT’S ABOUT TIME! Michael Neill has directed
the process of change in the direction that works. It
should be a lesson to everyone who wants to change
lives—happiness is where we need to go. Michael lays
out the what and the how in an easy-to-use format.
Not just good reading, but good living.’

– Dr. Richard Bandler, behavioral technologist and
co-creator of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

‘Michael Neill has written a simple roadmap to
understanding everything you need to know about
feeling happy… It is an effective and entertaining
guide that deals with issues that one would normally
consider to be hard and heavy. If you are depressed,
think you could be feeling down, or simply just want
a better quality of life, this book is your essential guide.’

– Oli Barry, BAFTA and Grierson Award-winning
director of Bye Bye Happiness

‘Michael Neill is a genius in making the accumulated
wisdom of his own and humanities’ search for
happiness available to busy, modern, and often
stressed-out Westerners. This book gives you
profound yet eminently practical ways for realizing
spontaneous joy and deep fulfillment. I highly recommend
it.’

– Dr. Peter Fenner, author of Radiant Mind: Awakening
Unconditional Presence and Intrinsic Freedom

‘This book is a brimming, practical miracle! What a spot-
on distillation of exactly what we each need to practice to
cultivate a lighthearted life.’

– Jennifer Louden, best-selling author of The
Woman’s Comfort Book

‘Michael Neill is the finest success coach in the world
today. The time I’ve spent reading and rereading
Michael’s work has made a remarkable difference
to my success, happiness, and well-being. I have
recommended it to everyone I know who is genuinely
interested in self-improvement.’

– Paul McKenna, best-selling author of Change
Your Life in 7 Days

To read the Preface and Introduction to Feel Happy
Now!, visit:
http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/fhn1.php

I couldn’t be happier about suggesting you part with
some of your hard earned cash! Go buy Michael’s
book now!

In Joy,
Rhonda

A wonderful concept is to leave art and ideas in public places as a way of affecting someone’s day—change their mood or their mind in a positive and creative way—and maybe even change the world in the process! What a great possibility to visualize! This also seems it could be a valuable resource for ways to apply the use of art in Circle.

I have not held this book in my hot little hands yet, but still feel compelled to bring it to your attention. The Guerilla Art Kit promises to shows how small artistic acts can start a revolution. After all, lovevolves. Essential to the healing of our planet is to think not only outside the box, but to dance creatively in circles! This provides a fun way to do it!

Keri Smith, noted author of Living Out Loud and the blog Wish Jar Journal, uses her unique drawing and handwriting style to help anyone find and release their inner artist or activist. This visually exciting activity book is said to be full of step-by-step exercises, cutout projects, sticker ideas, and more.

I just like the idea of it, and hope the book lives up to the thought of making a meaningful impact. From the quick exercises—leaving books for strangers to find, chalking quotes on the sidewalk—to the more involved—making a “wish tree,” guerilla gardening, or making your own stencils—The Guerilla Art Kit promises everything you need to put your message out into the world. Keri Smith is the author/illustrator turned guerilla artist.

Join me as a new fan of hers, following her adventures at kerismith.com.

This story and its message is simple, clear, and memorable. If you are ready to break free of the ‘drama triangle’ and hang up co-dependency once and for all, give The Power of T. E. D. a read. It will definitely put you on a smoother road to happiness.

With co-creative freinds and founders, Ann Smith and Carol Hansen Grey at Circle Connections (http:www.circleconnections.com), we are formulating a Circle Connections Leadership Certification program especially for those hungry for peace and aware of the importance of a feminine model of empowerment (Yin-Powerment). We plan to include this easy to understand concept for breaking free of the ‘Drama Triangle’ as an essential basic ingredient of our leadership curriculum.

For sure, I give this book an enchanting ‘thumbs-up’.

A Big New Free Happy Unusual Life : Self Expression and Spiritual Practice for Those Who Have Time for Neither (Paperback)
by Nina Wise

A Primer in Positive Psychology (Paperback)
by Christopher Peterson