Posts from — February 2006

1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 4. Note: patient recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake. 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 12. She is numb from her toes down. 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 14. The skin was moist and dry. 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,until she got a divorce. 19. I saw your pati! ent today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. 20. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 21. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 22. Skin: somewhat pale but present 23. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

When my daughter, Carrie, was about 18 months I had a neighbor who had a daughter about 9 month younger. It would drive me crazy that Elizabeth was never, and I mean NEVER allowed to get dirty. Her ice cream cones were always taken from her before drips and only returned when orderly and managed. Can you imagine? My ice cream cone eating strategy is, “Go for it!” drips and all. With the sweet comes the messy. One day Elizabeth was delivered to me for a play date with Carrie. She arrived in an all white dress frilly dress while Carrie played in her grubby clothes that would soon be aborted for the delight of nakedness. Ever the people pleaser, although with a rebellious side, I waited until her mom was gone. I spotted a harmless way to break the rules. I swooped the girls up and we went to the store and bought 9 packets (that’s all they had) of chocolate pudding. We got out the mixing bowls, measuring spoons, boxes of pudding at the ready, and one final essential ingredient…I stripped both girls naked. The white dress was carefully tucked out of harms way, and we then had a delightful time mixing (and tasting) volumes of this brown magical creamy stuff. We weren’t done yet! Out came the wading pool. I plopped them in amidst the velvety substance and let them enjoy the messy-ness of life without limits. They savored their chocolate toes, and one another’s. Oh my goodness, what a delight it was for all of us. Fortunately, they weren’t old enough to question my sanity or to reveal to others my experiential learning play day experience. They just enjoyed the freedom of the squishiness and sweetness that surrounded them that fully activated their capacity for joy. It was a group effort to clean up the evidence, and then they enjoyed the bubble bath that followed. All the brown water, but not the sweet memories, was safely down the drain. Joy had been followed by more joy, and the time whizzed by. The doorbell rings. When Elizabeth’s mom came to pick her up, her frilly white clothes were in place with nary a smudge, and I felt I had fulfilled my calling: promoting the adventure of freedom, joy, and happiness. I had followed my heart boldly, although slyly, and felt fully alive. I had introduced these little ones to a magical and important part of life that I wish, as adults, we could more easily access. I have to say that I had great satisfaction and peace in knowing that at least once in Elizabeth’s life she had known the wonder, benefits, and reality of full submersion in the messy-ness life offers. It is an important reminder for all of us to remember life IS MESSY. Instead of resist it or complain about it, trust it and dive into the messy-ness of life with equal abandon and enjoy the process. When I told Elizabeth’s mom about our day together, I left out a few details, but I know somewhere in this little girl’s heart she carries an imprint of having experienced heaven. May our surrendering to the messy-ness of life be as sweet. Dive in. Have fun! Love to us all, Rhonda

1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING . . . But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listen. 2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION . . . Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends. 3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER . . . Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you." 4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE . . . It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime and may even change a life. 5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT . . . A simple and sincere, "You look great in red," "You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day. 6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR . . . Every day, go out of your way to do something kind. 7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE . . . There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others. 8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION . . . The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone; it's not really that hard to say, Hello or Thank You. -- Author Unknown

“We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we're not extending in the present.” -- Marianne Williamson

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. -- Buddha (Gautama Buddha)

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." -- Saint-Exupery

“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.” -- Oscar Wilde

Every February, across the country and around the world, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine, all to honor love. I found it interesting to explore the history of Valentine’s Day a bit before writing about this special day. If you want to learn more, too, take a look: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's_Day Though for many Valentine’s Day seems like a holiday manufactured by Hallmark, I still am grateful that a day has been set aside inviting us to reflect on love. Opening to love is a key ingredient to knowing deep happiness. So what is love? It is so much more that remembering to bring flowers or sending a card. Love is heartfelt and pure. It is playful and direct. It dares to reveal faults trusting they will be forgiven. It is the safe place we initiate our boldest, strongest self. It is the soft place we can admit our weariness, confusion and express our doubts. Authentic love is a willingness to learn from our mistakes. It is freedom rather than restriction, and a bond rather than bondage. It calls for encouragement rather than judgment. It is tenderness, anticipation, truth, kindness, flexibility, and acceptance. It nurtures true listening, honors silence, and demands an honest answer. It allows the sharing of laughter and sadness. It puts happiness above being right and is committed to finding the path through challenges. It is a hug held until connection is made, a sigh that says it all, a tolerance of silence, and a welcoming harbor for the unexpected process of personal growth. Love is innocent and wise. It is a reflection of the Divine from the inside out. Authentic love starts with self-love, and our happiness is the greatest gift of love we can give another. And yet, loving our self and designing our own joy is too often overlooked in favor of finding our fulfillment through another and attempting to keep up with the unrealistic expectations of our circumstances. Effortful caring, controlling, worry, and loving others at the expense of our own well being makes the love we offer them more of a liability than an asset. The mis-belief that you cannot be whole without another is co-dependent love. It is only an illusion of what we long for. Coercing someone into being who we want him or her to be comes from fear, not connection. Love holds gently in a way that strengthens the bond created, and lets go willingly for the highest and best for all. As a non-denominational minister I feel honored to be a part of significant life events. One is officiating at weddings. Some couples I see walk through the motions of commitment far more focused on the dress or the cake than the intentions of the words they express to one another. The words exchanged are each couples definition of love, and their blueprint for their journey through life together. Some couples I feel to my core mean what they say and offer one another their wholeness, while others instead offer their unfinished business and unrealistic expectations. Some are playing out the fairy tale rather than consciously designing a durable love because they failed to love themselves first. Love also teaches, offers opportunities for growth, and stretches us. And my mom always said, “Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.” Rob Breszny is someone who doesn’t take himself too seriously. He is a fun and provocative writer considered by some as a renegade genius whose syndicated Free Will Astrology column runs in 130 newspapers nation-wide. I get a kick out of his ability to challenge ordinary thinking. He has also written a fun read, Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia (North Atlantic Books; $19 paper) in which he poses fresh possibilities in a chapter, I Me Wed. Here he emphasizes that loving yourself first is a pre-requisite for loving another authentically (http://www.freewillastrology.com/beauty/beauty.main79.shtml). Ron suggests that, “Because none of us is ever likely to find our perfect partner until we master the art of loving ourselves with great ingenuity, a self-wedding ritual can be the transformative magic that induces the arrival of a challenging new consort into our lives, or else brings the renaissance of an existing intimate relationship.” I find this an idea worth pondering. Would you marry you? Have you taken the time to learn to enjoy your own company? Have you come to know and accept your unique gifts? Have you taken full accountability and responsibility for your own joy? Do you love yourself in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer? Have you ever looked boldly in the mirror, cherishing whom you see and offering gratitude for the person reflected before you, flaws and all? My favorite prayer is, “Dear God, Help me accept the truth about my self, no matter how magnificent it is.” It is essential that we come to a place of understanding that self-love doesn’t mean the kind of selfish love that excludes. This kind of self-centeredness is self-absorbed and insensitive, not genuine. At a higher degree of consciousness and with a clearer intention being self-centered means being centered within our self. Loving from the inside out. Loving from our insight-out. We then become a true gift to another. This is the love that heals, builds bridges, and makes peace possible. Love becomes our presence. Love is being fully present. If, on this Valentine’s Day you were to wed yourself, celebrating your own magnificence by writing yourself a love letter of appreciation and to promise forever to cherish yourself being fully authentic and committed to your well being, what would you say? I invite you to give it a try. What holds you back? Why do you resist? Commitment to another is a big step, but what about that commitment to our self!? It is important we be what we long for. A reminder to which I return to often for inspiration was written by a woman I admire for her tenacity and bold insights. She colors outside the lines and dares to offer her powerful feminine voice. Marianne Williamson, author (A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles), speaker, and spiritual advocate, challenges us to love, honor and cherish our self through these awakening words: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” The journey of happiness calls for crossing the bridge of self-doubt by loving our self as much as we love others. On this special day that we unite in the celebration of love, let your commitment be to love YOU. Dare to stretch your ability to love your self first to in order to authentically fill the cup from which you love others. As a happiness advocate and by the power invested in my by my Authentic Self, and knowing your Higher Self is equally wonderful, I now pronounce you married to your own magnificence. You may now let go of all your limiting beliefs and love your True Self. In Joy, Rhonda

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But, a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. "I've been thinking," he said. "I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone." -- Author Unknown

1 Return everything you borrow. 2 Stop blaming other people. 3 Live within your means and within your seams. 4 Be humble. 5 Listen more; talk less. 6 Every day, do something nice and try not to get caught. 7 Strive for excellence, not perfection. 8 Be on time. 9 Don't criticize anyone for 24 hours. 10 Be kind to other people. 11 Be even kinder to unkind people. 12 Take time to be alone. 13 Admit it when you make a mistake. 14 Understand and accept that life isn't always fair. 15 Let someone cut ahead of you in line. 16 Don't argue. 17 Know when to say something. 18 Know when to keep your mouth shut. 19 Don't make excuses. 20 Don't sweat the small stuff. -- Anonymous